Funny Tweets on The Battle of the Sexes Round 2

Funniest Tweets

This week’s list started out kind of random, but then I notice a pattern – a vague, loose pattern but a pattern nonetheless. Hey, I don’t see you coming up with any twitter lists so pipe down. The list starts out with battle of the sexes tweets and goes into dental hygiene, which may as first glance not seem related, but listen. If you don’t have good dental hygiene, your chances of gettin any lovin are severely diminished. See? I just related it.

Ah, little love notes. I miss those days.  

What the hell? Is he an idiot?

Sounds like he needs to check the new Safety Commission guidelines. 

 

Or just go around like Bangers & Meh.

Me too, Bangers & Meh, me too. And it’s not even because I’m afraid I put food back in the fridge the wrong way. It’s just a general, abiding sense of dread that accompanies me wherever I go. Continue reading “Funny Tweets on The Battle of the Sexes Round 2”

Funny Tweets on Men & Women

I was on vacation last week and off the internets for five glorious days. I gotta say it was pretty nice. The weather was perfect, the ocean crystalline, the waves phenomenal. And I’m a little sad now just thinking about it.

So I haven’t been bringing my A game to the blogosphere, but we all need a break sometime. To make up for it and to thank you for your patience and undying loyalty, I’m gonna start off with a bang with these hilarious tweets on marriage.

Did you hear that? Fact. Think about it. It has to be. Personally, I’d never shoot my husband while he was doing the dishes.    

I will get you
Photo credit: marsmet546 via photopin cc

I’d wait till after. (Just kidding. I’d never shoot my husband.) At least, I wouldn’t shoot him and write about it on the internet. That would be dumb.    

Here’s another fact for ya because I like to spread knowledge.  

My husband does that to me all the time. Then he claims he said it first. Which can lead to arguments. But, guys, I have some helpful advice for you when you’re having a disagreement with your lady.

So that’s one way.   Continue reading “Funny Tweets on Men & Women”

TweetPeat Tuesday is BACK (only on Wednesday)

Give me a break. I just moved, and I had to let the people know about Perfectly Popped popcorn so that their popcorn would never get burned again. That’s important! Anyway, Tweetpeat Tuesday, Tweetpeat Wednesday. What’s the difference? Other than Tweetpeat Wednesday doesn’t have that alliteration ring to it, which is the whole reason I started Tweetpeat Tuesday in the first place. But a funny tweet is a funny tweet, and it deserves it’s own day of the week no matter what.

After a brief (unintentional) hiatus from Twitter (I would never leave you, Twitter. You know I love you.) I came across some pretty funny tweets last week that I would like to share with you now in no specific order or organizing theme because who has time to organize their thoughts anymore for Pete’s sake?

Well, do you want to read something funny or not?

Continue reading “TweetPeat Tuesday is BACK (only on Wednesday)”

Battle of the Sexes Part II

couple on beach In the classic battle between the sexes some things never change, but every now and then there’s an update.

See? That’s a new twist on an old theme. Sam also made a new discovery on what is undoubtedly a universal truth about one of the sexes.

Yeah so? What’s his point?

I'll take all of it.
I’ll take everything.

Continue reading “Battle of the Sexes Part II”