Twitter really breaks things down to the essential truths. Which is why I like it. There’s just so much you can learn from Twitter.
Here I present you with the essential guide to men and women expressed in 140 character truths. I think this should be required reading for couples getting married like this post should be handed out at Pre-Cana or something.
For instance engaged couples should know…
Remember that thing you did a few years ago on a Tuesday that made your wife mad? She does.
Yesterday I casually pulled out a glass from the cabinet, poured some ice tea in it without really paying attention and sat down at my desk (i.e. dining room table) to write. Before this page even loaded I went to take a sip and this is what I found.
My glass says & I quote, “Take pride in your beer.” I think we should all take that to heart.
If nothing else, we could at least do that, right? We may not take pride in out job, our children, our home, but, damn it if we’re not gonna drink quality beer. We still have a little bit of self respect.
Mr. Potato Head recently brought home that glass from a wild night out at Applebees. Actually, he was with the kids so he needed a beer, and it was Sam Adams Saturdays. He got a souvenir beer mug with every order of the beer. So now we have about 20 of those glasses. Which is good because now not only do I have a set of matching glasses, but I also learned a valuable lesson. The lesson here is we’d all do well to heed the council of our drinkware. If not, from whence will we find reliable advice?
I have another piece of advice for you, if you’re a parent, and this time from it’s from me not my beer mug.
I just ripped open my #kids‘ Easter candy & ate it & I don’t care what they say. I paid for it.
Don’t be fooled by your kids sorrowful faces as they watch you tear through their chocolate bunnies and Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs. You own that. I don’t care if they cry. Maybe if they weren’t stingy, greedy hoarders, they could have some. But it’s not all candy over here. I eat my kale and flax seeds, too, because I’m down with health.
It was the sweetest thing, y’all (I’m not form the south, but I don’t think it’s fair that only people from the south get to say y’all). And we all know those moments are few and far between. I think he just said it to get an X-Box, but I don’t care. I’ll take it.