This week’s list started out kind of random, but then I notice a pattern – a vague, loose pattern but a pattern nonetheless. Hey, I don’t see you coming up with any twitter lists so pipe down. The list starts out with battle of the sexes tweets and goes into dental hygiene, which may as first glance not seem related, but listen. If you don’t have good dental hygiene, your chances of gettin any lovin are severely diminished. See? I just related it.
Married sext: I made dinner. You can too when you get hungry. — Jersey (@Rhythms_n_Booze) May 31, 2015
Ah, little love notes. I miss those days.
Before I got married I didn’t even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge — Josh (@iwearaonesie) June 10, 2015
What the hell? Is he an idiot?
Hell hath no fury like a woman who just said “seriously?” after a comment you made during an argument.
— Trey (@treydayway) March 3, 2015
Sounds like he needs to check the new Safety Commission guidelines.
The Consumer Products Safety Commission now recommends that you check yourself before, during and after you wreck yourself. — Jake Vig (@Jake_Vig) July 14, 2015
Or just go around like Bangers & Meh.
I like to approach each new day with a fresh sense of dread.
— Bangers & Meh (@TheAlexNevil) June 25, 2015
Me too, Bangers & Meh, me too. And it’s not even because I’m afraid I put food back in the fridge the wrong way. It’s just a general, abiding sense of dread that accompanies me wherever I go. Continue reading “Funny Tweets on The Battle of the Sexes Round 2”