It’s not like we haven’t had pets before. We had hermit crabs. But even that was a battle with Kevin, and apparently you can’t really cuddle with hermit crabs. After the crabs’ untimely deaths – it might have been a joint suicide pact, I don’t know – I considered allowing the kids to get a fuzzy, little critter, something tiny whose natural habitat was a cage and who didn’t require much in the way of attention from me. A hamster sounded about right.
The kids were old enough, and I thought caring for a pet would teach them about responsibility and consideration and selflessness.
And my son, he needed one. He has a lot of love to give.
But I wasn’t going to squander an opportunity to get something out of it. I promised them a pet if they A) didn’t fail out of 6th grade, and B) tried some sort of new activity. I know these are lofty goals, but if you don’t set the bar high, then where will you be?
The first requirement was for my daughter who intensely wants to get straight A’s but who intensely doesn’t want to put forth any effort to achieve that goal. The second requirement was for my son who is hesitant to take on any activity unless he can be instantly successful at it without any previous experience. I try to convince him that everything takes practice, but he’ll hear none of it. Instead, he whimpers and bellyaches, refusing to even try – until you force him, at which point he discovers a new passion.
So my daughter pulled up her grades, and my son tried out kickball at recess, and I was stuck having to honor my word. But none of that is the real reason we got a pet. The real reason is this:
It’s Tweetpeat Tuesday, and I almost missed it. But I won’t let that happen. I can’t. I owe it to the peoples to be better than that.
This week I thought I’d mix it up a bit and bring you some of the best tweets found anywhere on the web because while I like funny tweets and thoroughly enjoy making fun of my kids, I can’t do it alone. It’s hard being funny all the time. The pressure was mounting to unstable levels when I thought to myself, you know what? There are lots of funny tweets out there. Why not enjoy the range of humor the internet has to offer? And with that I bring you echoVista.
I need to discuss several matters of importance that have come to my attention lately and about which I have recently tweeted. Namely, I’m considering a career change.
Why not? I mean we have this revelation in other aspects of our lives. Who’s to say after a few years of parenting you’re not going to tire of it or realize, perhaps, your strengths lie elsewhere? Despite the best of intentions, sometime things just don’t work out. That’s understandable. Like any other job, maybe parenting just isn’t your thing. Shouldn’t you be able to say, “You know what? I gave it my best shot. Time to move on.”
It all started last night. When in between helping my son with the sentences he had to compose for homework, which takes approximately 10,000 hours because he doesn’t believe in the transformative powers of homework and so decides to make the task as onerous and infuriating as possible and is quite adept in doing so, I checked in on Twitter to see what I’d missed that day. Apparently that day I’d missed A LOT. My buddy and Anderson Cooper Blogger of the Day, Julie Deneen, tweeted that one of my tweets and been featured on the Anderson Cooper Show. It went something like this:
So a couple of weeks ago I was surprised and honored to learn I was chosen for Nick Mom’s Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week. Here’s the proof just so you know I’m not lying about my mad tweeting skillz:
Although I think the whole thing should have come with an award ceremony or a little trophy or something, it is none-the-less a high honor, privilege and a role which I take very seriously. And, it’s got me thinking. Mostly about how I shouldn’t let perfectly good tweets go to waste. So I’ve come up with Tweetpeat Tuesdays. Starting with now, every Tuesday I will repeat tweet some of my perfectly good tweets of the last week here and ask you all to weigh in on some of the questions or dilemas I face because, really, Twitter as I see it is just a 140 character cry for help.
I’m not saying Twitter isn’t perfectly twitterific the way it is. I would never dream of asking Twitter to change, but I think Twitter has the power to serve a higher purpose. Like therapy. It’s already been incredibly therapeutic for me, but I know Twitter can do more. I mean why not ask strangers, really nice strangers of course, to provide the guidance for my life? Why pay for therapy when I can get it right here for free from super smart people like yourselves?
So lets get it started in here. Some funny tweets from last week: