Moms Gone Wild

Mom Attacks Nordstrom Shopper

photo credit: Feans via photopin cc

Ok, this is going to be short and sweet because I already had plenty to say over on Huffington Post about the mother who attacked the fellow shopper outside of Nordstrom for asking the mom to “quiet” her trantruming child. You may not agree with the woman, but punching someone in the face can’t be justified. There, I said it.

I know there are many things to consider, but I just can’t wrap my head around being attacked for making a comment (however out of line you may think it is). And people cheering it on. I also wonder what type of example this behavior sets for the kid. If you’re not already sick of this story you can see how I really feel over on The Huffington Post. And may you all make it through this day without being punched in the face.

FYI: The piece was also picked up by BlogHer (although they changed the title) so you can read it over there, too.

Better Know A Blogger: Becoming SuperMommy

Better Know A Blogger:Lea Becoming SuperMommy

Lea’s a regular kid whisperer. I met Lea Grover of Becoming SuperMommy at BlogU14, and I’m so glad I did. Not only is she a fantastic writer, but also she is an incredibly interesting person. Just take a look at her answers. She had me mesmerized – like the bit about the 15 different majors in college and singing Opera and coming from a whole line of magicians. I’m hoping she’s gonna perform an operatic magic show at BlogU15.

1. Why did you decide to start your blog, and did you have any idea what you were getting yourself into?

I decided to start my blog because I figured, with six months old twins, I was obviously becoming some kind of parenting expert. My plan was to offer common sense advice, like, “See how crazy my house is? See how sane I am? You can do this!” About three weeks later, I realized I had no idea what I was doing, I was a terrible parent, I was completely insane, and I COULD NOT do this. So instead I wrote about that. Which is to say, no, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Oh, with the blog, either.

2. How long have you been at this racket?

I’ve been blogging since 2003, yes, that’s eleven years, and for a while I blogged back in the ’90s- you know, with a big HTML sourcebook by my side, and a chart of RGB values for my fluorescent backgrounds… but we didn’t call it blogging then. We called it being an enormous dork. That blog was all about my friends in middle school. Since then, I’ve kept a poetry blog, a super secret personal blog, a food blog, and now a 21st century feminist mommy blog. I’ve been writing at Becoming SuperMommy since the twins were half a year old, which is four and a half years now.

OFM: Holy cow. You have done it ALL. I’m super impressed.

3. Do you have a blogging schedule? If so, what is it? Does it help? Does it change? Do you want to stomp on it, and tell people to go away – you have enough to do?

No. I used to sort of have a schedule. Every week I linked up with Twisted Mixtape Tuesday, which was a lot of fun, and I used to write a Sunday Blogaround. But the Mixtape is sadly closed, and after baby #3 came around I lost the time and energy to read as many other blogs as I used to, which meant the death of the Blogaround, too. I try to post at least twice a week, but it really depends on how much chaos occurred that week at home, and how much of it would be good material. On a REALLY chaotic week, I might post every day. Or, not at all. Depends if it’s “Flee! The house is on fire!” chaos, or “I’m getting day drunk and writing because the kids covered their baby sister in nail polish” chaos. I’m a SAHM, so it’s always guaranteed it will be one or the other. Plus, if I tell my kids to go away and let me write, they just ignore me.

OFM: Damn kids.

Continue reading “Better Know A Blogger: Becoming SuperMommy”

Setting Goals and Taking Names

I Hope This is Shared:IndieChicks

I know you’re all expecting funny tweets for today, but suck it up. Tweetpeat Tuesday has been temporarily suspended to bring you this important announcement.

Today I here to tell you and all the world that I’m setting a goal for myself. That’s right. It’s the new me. I’m setting goals and taking names. Primarily on Facebook.

For a while now, I’ve been trying to grow my Facebook page, and I’ve seen some moderate success. But 900 followers just isn’t enough. I need more. Much, much more! And I won’t stop until I get them. All. Yes, my personal goal is to get everyone on Facebook to like me. Because I like to set realistic goals. Plus, I need them to have a decent platform for the book I’m working on.

Ok, fine, not everyone has to like me, but how about most people? Some people? Anyone?

I’ll admit Facebook and I got off to a rocky start. When I first started my blog I didn’t even have a page for it, and I didn’t get one for a few months, which was stupid. But give a blogger a break. I was just starting out, and I didn’t fully believe in all this modern technology business. I didn’t think social media had staying power. I mean, seriously, who thought Facebook was gonna last?

To be honest I never really understood Facebook, and despite being a blogger I’m a pretty private person. I know, weird, right? I didn’t even sign up for a personal page on Facebook until a few years before I started my blog, and even then I was never really sure how I felt about it. I’m from the X generation where technology is suspicious and untrustworthy. Remember, we started out with DOS and floppy disks. It wasn’t always this easy.

When I went off to college my parents gave me the choice of getting a computer, which was a modern invention at the time, or a word processor. Guess which one I chose. In my senor year of college I remember spending 8 hours in the computer lab trying to format a stupid resume, redoing it over and over again because I didn’t know how to get the stupid margins adjusted. Computers have a mind of their own, and there’s no talking to them. If you lost something, there was no way to find it or possibly get it back. It was forever lost to the big cyberspace in the sky. The refrain of the day was, “Back up your work! Make sure you’re backing up.” But no one ever told you how to back up or what the hell that meant.

One time I was working on a story for the school paper. I had a staff position there, and I was in the newsroom working on my ground-breaking story on a new Super Man comic book when the power went out. I’d been working on that stupid, back-page story for nearly 6 hours and was almost done when the office went dark. I had to hold back the hot tears burning my eyes when the power came back on, and my story was gone. As I sat there staring at the blank screen in disbelief someone said, “Well, did you back it up?”

It was all I could do to keep from running out of the room screaming, “No. No, I didn’t back it up because no one ever told me what the hell that means!

Because you know what? You don’t have to back up paper. Ink never just magically disappears from your page. Paper is not trying to lure you into its web of trickery and deceit.

I had to start my story all over from scratch. That is a pain you never forget. So when I finally did come to Facebook rather late in life, it was with a certain hesitance. Could I really trust Facebook?

In my defense I’ll like to mention one other thing. My blog was born in secrecy. I didn’t tell family or friends so that made it a little difficult to promote. I feared even if I created a Facebook page with all of Facebook’s complicated rules and procedures I’d invariably confuse my personal account with my blog account and wind up posting the wrong thing on the wrong page as the wrong person because I’m not very good at being a CIA operative. And, then my whole carefully orchestrated plan would’ve blown up in my face.

But I’m here to tell you, I’ve changed my ways. I’m slowly coming out of the closet as a blogger, and I’ve taken a shine to Facebook. Primarily because of its cat videos. I’ve even renamed or retitled or re-subtitled my Facebook page so my “about” description reads: Home of incisive cultural commentary also known as common sense. And cat videos.

All of this is just a long-winded way of saying I have goals. I just don’t like to clearly articulate them. They’re floating around in my head somewhere. I know they’re there, and I’ll get to them eventually. I just don’t like to put them all down in black and white where I can be held accountable and clearly see yet another thing at which I’ve failed.

But all that’s about to change. Because The IndieChicks are making me. They’re launching their new and improved site soon, and for the launch they’re choosing 5 lucky bloggers (pick me! pick me!) to take part in their new Discover Feed service, which will display a bunch of blog with a link back to their site for FREE y’all.

For that I can come up with some goals. Actually, I already had some. I’m just putting them down now with an actual plan of action, which has mostly grown out of my need to build my platform for my book. So to accomplish my goal to gain more Facebook followers, specifically I wanted to get to a 1,000, and I’m not that far off the mark (but of course once I hit 1,000 I’ll want to get it to 2,000 and so on and so forth, but let’s just stick with 1,000 for now) I plan to A) actively network within the Facebook groups I belong to, joining up on every Facebook share thread I see and “like” my fellow bloggers; B) I’m announcing on Facebook that once I hit 1,000 I’m throwing a party – a virtual party – but a party nonetheless with prizes (woo hoo!); and C) I am submitting to more and varied publications so I can cast a broader net and hopefully extend my reach.

How does that sound? Oh, yeah, and I’m writing this blog post so, you know, if you haven’t “liked” me yet, you can take care of that right here: OFM on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter. And get regularly scheduled fun by entering your email address right over there –> on the upper right (because I don’t know how to do it here). I already told you, computers scare me.

Good Men, Scary Moms & Meth Dolls: An Update

Good Men (1)

Guys, I know I don’t ordinarily post on Fridays, but I have good news. I’m super excited to say that not only am I a Black Voice, but also I’m also a Good Man. I’m a black white good man woman. How many people can say that? I’m thrilled about it because I’ve always wanted to be a man (that would make my life so much easier) and because after weeks of toil and exasperation I finally placed my piece on the Sayreville football team’s sexual assaults.

In a fit of passion after the news broke I wrote the piece and sent it off to about a bazillion places – I was working the internet like you wouldn’t believe – but, sadly, my little piece went unloved. Did I let that stop me? Oh, hell, no. I said, “I will not let this die a sad and lonely death.” I may have been dying a sad and lonely death with the worst head cold I’ve had in about a decade, but I dragged my runny nose self to the computer every day (well, except for that one day I thought I actually was dying) and though coughing fits typed my little fingers to the bone. And it finally worked! The Good Men Project is running my piece. Not sure when yet but some time soon. Don’t worry I’ll be sure to tell you repeatedly. I’m really thrilled about this because the piece was important to me. It’s a discussion our society needs to have regarding how we view and treat sexual assaults in this country. Actually, the way rape is treated is mind-boggling to me, which is why I wrote the piece. I believe the reaction to the Sayreville scandal bears that out.

I know, typically, I write humor, but I am capable of a well thought-out, meaningful piece every once in a while. I’ll keep you posted on that.

But back to humor. I’ll also be on Scary Mommy tomorrow talking about aging. Because I’m old. That’s right. I’m calling it. I give up. I’m officially old. You know you’re old when you just don’t give a damn about being old anymore. I originally did a top 10 list, but the post on Scary Mommy is a new and improved list with many, many more signs that you’re old. So if you’re on the fence about this come on over tomorrow, and I’ll help you sort that all out. In the meantime you can read my latest post over on there, Celebrating Half Birthdays is Stupid, if you got nothin else goin on or a little piece about letting my kids walk to school, you know, if you want.

Also, this week? Last week? Who can remember? My piece on Breaking Bad action figures was picked up by Mamapedia so you might wanna check that out. I mean who can resist a piece on drug-dealing dolls sold at that toy store we all know and hate, Toys R Us? Just in time for the holidays, too!

So expect to be pestered all weekend long and probably well into next week, too. Sorry, but a blogger’s gotta do what a blogger’s gotta do. And have a good weekend!

Better Know A Blogger: Orange & Silver

Better Know Blogger-Orange&Silver

Today I have a very special guest for you, Tracy from Orange and Silver because, as she says, life almost never rhymes. Which is true although when I first “met” Tracy over the internets, I told her blog’s name should be Orange is the New Silver because that’s how I am. Obnoxious. And good at naming things. She maintains she started her blog way before Orange is the New Black ever saw the light of day. Still, I can’t help but always think of her blog as Orange is the New Silver.

But her blog makes a good point. Life hardly ever rhymes, and orange and silver are the only words in the English language that don’t rhyme (or something like that). Although rapper Eminem says you can rhyme with orange. Then he makes up a rap in which he attempts to rhyme something with orange. I saw it on “60 Minutes” once. I really don’t know why “60 Minutes” had Eminem on, but when finished his rap, I said, “But that didn’t rhyme.” So despite what Eminem thinks, nothing rhymes with orange.

Tracy’s right. As she is with most of the questions below. But before we get to that let me tell you a little bit more about Tracy. She has four children, a husband, a full time job, a dog, and, apparently, a death wish. She blogs in an attempt to maintain a tenuous grip on what is left of her precious sanity. Her days are spent alternately reminding her children to throw their cheese stick wrappers in the trash, and enduring the searing injustice that the UK has seen all of Downton Abbey Season 5 months before it will air in the US. In her free time, Tracy does nothing, because she has no free time. Someday she will launch a campaign to rid the world of glitter.

Why did you decide to start your blog, and did you have any idea what you were getting yourself into?

I was a food blogger for a few years before I became what I would now think of as a humor blogger (which, for lack of a better definition, is how I think of myself). Food blogging is a hard racket because you can’t just think, “Hey, I’ll post about fudge today!” You have to have a recipe, and you have to have tested that recipe, ideally more than once. So the lead time is long to get a post up, and while it’s true that means you get to eat a lot of fudge, sooner or later CPS comes to visit you because your children have brought fudge, and nothing but fudge, in their lunchboxes for three weeks in a row. Also, you have to keep buying ingredients to make fudge, so that’s expensive. At least with humor blogging, my subject matter is free—my own life, my own shortcomings, the shortcomings of others, including my children, anything that annoys me (which is a lot). And while I may still get a visit from CPS, it’s not because of fudge. Or not exclusively because of fudge.

How long have you been at this racket?

If you count the food blog, since about 2006, give or take. Orange & Silver is considerably younger, only about two years (I think—I’m too lazy to go see when I actually created it).

OFM: No worries. I feel you.

Continue reading “Better Know A Blogger: Orange & Silver”

Better Know A Blogger: Welcome to The Bundle

Today’s special presentation is brought to you by the funny and fabulous Jessica Rapisarda of Welcome to the Bundle. If you don’t know her, what’s wrong with you? Just kidding, you’re fine, but allow me to introduce you.

Better Know Blogger:Welcome Bundle

For that alone, you should like her.

Here’s some more.

Why did you decide to start a blog, and did you have any idea what you were getting yourself into?

In early 2014, my pal Lauren Boston (of fame) suggested I try out for Listen to Your Mother DC. Because I suffer from intense stage fright, I decided that seemed like a really good idea. Frankly, I did not expect to be cast, but I was. My euphoria lasted a hot second before it gave way to anxiety cramping. Almost everyone in the show actively blogged, and all of the publicity info proudly linked to these blogs. By comparison, my bio read like a how-to-be-sad-and-boring manual: “Jessica is a wife, mom, and technical editor. At one point in her life, she wanted to write poetry, but now she wants to pay off her student loans and get a pedicure from time to time.”

Right, so I started a blog to seem cool. I’m failing miserably, but I’m having fun.

OFM: You are NOT. Don’t talk about yourself that way. I won’t hear of it. Plus, I find blogging isn’t as easy as they make it out to be.

How long have you been at this racket?

My blog is only 9 months old, so there’s less spit-up than in the early days, but there’s still a lot of drool.

OFM: See what she did there? Her blog is her baby.

Continue reading “Better Know A Blogger: Welcome to The Bundle”

When a Renovation Might Kill You

Could be us!
Could be us!

I interrupt today’s regularly scheduled program to bring you this special report. Today I’m pleased and honored to be the house guest on the Housewife Plus column on the Bangor Daily News. I reprised my renovation vs. moving piece which was in two parts, combining it into one bite-sized morsel for her audience’s easy consumption. It would’ve been rude to tell them to stay tuned for part 2 because I don’t know if I’ll ever be invited back, and I didn’t want to leave anyone hanging. So if you didn’t read it, it’s new to you, and you should head on over there. And, bonus, this time you get two posts for the price of one.

For a good time, find me on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter. And get regularly scheduled fun by entering your email address right over there –> to the right (because I don’t know how to do it here). I’m a writer not a coder!


Better Know a Blogger: Nurse Mommy Laughs

You know her as Nurse Mommy, but did you know Stacey Hatton also has a humor column in The Kansas City Star newspaper, is co-author of “I Just Want to Pee Alone” and the sequel, and plays a blogger on TV on the NBC morning show, KC Live! Impressive, I know. She’s also the only person I’ve ever heard use the term “all the livelong day,” in all seriousness, which is equally as impressive.

A former pediatric nurse, present-ish mom and future menopausal pole dancer, Nurse Mommy always investigates the “funny bone.” Now I’m turning the investigation on her.

Better Know Blogger-Nurse Mommy

Why did you decide to start your blog, and did you have any idea what you were getting yourself into?

At first I was afraid. I was petrified. No wait that’s something else. I was bored. Oh, and sleep deprived and lactating.

How long have you been at this racket?

I’m embarrassed to say. There are so many bloggers who have been at blogging for a minute and BOOM they are on Dr. Oz talking about their swollen spleens and psoriasis from all the fame and glamour – me…not so much. It’s been freaking 5 years and I still hear crickets in my comment section. I’m really not bitter. Really.

Do you have a blogging schedule? If so, what is it? Does it help? Does it change? Do you want to stomp on it, and tell people to go away – you have enough to do?

My blogging schedule is to bathe, feed and water the children, give my hubby some boom-boom, and then the rest of the time is on my keyboard. I usually get 2 posts up a week. I find that my readers like Tuesdays and Thursdays, even though I blogged Monday, Wednesday and Fridays for three years. What can I say? I’m blonde. It’s a disability.

Continue reading “Better Know a Blogger: Nurse Mommy Laughs”

Better Know A Blogger: Jenn from Something Clever 2.0

Next up in the critically acclaimed series, Better Know A Blogger, is Jenn from Something Clever 2.0. For the history and how Stephen Colbert personally told me to do this go here because I can’t explain it all again. As for Jenn, I’m not gonna go into too much detail because you can see for yourself below, but let’s just say she writes for NickMom. She ain’t playin. So let’s get started, shall we?
 Blogger Series:Jenn Something Clever
1. Why did you decide to start your blog, and did you have any idea what you were getting yourself into?
I started blogging because a couple of friends told me I should. They liked my funny Facebook posts, and thought they should be longer. I had no idea I’d end up where I am now. As far as knowing what I was getting into, that would have to be a no. Before blogging, things like web hosting were completely unknown to me. I was looking for cheap unlimited hosting, but I simply didn’t have a clue. Thankfully, my friends were there to give me the necessary support in getting my blog up and running.
2. How long have you been at this racket?
I started “Something Clever” five years ago. I was working full-time, and I had a new baby. (Editor’s note: Wait. What?) It didn’t last very long. When I stopped working outside the home, I decided to start blogging again. I looked back at my old posts, and they were really negative, because I hated my job (Editor’s note: And you were taking care of a baby and trying to blog on top of it – maybe. That’s enough to make a person a little cranky). So I rebranded as Something Clever 2.0. That was a little over three years ago.
3. Do you have a blogging schedule? If so, what is it? Does it help? Does it change? Do you want to stomp on it, and tell people to go away – you have enough to do?
I really should have a schedule, but I don’t. I’ve been maxed out on personal commitments lately, so I’m trying to force myself to put up at least one post a week. Once I get my act together, though, I hope to post two or three times a week again.
4. Tell us a little bit about your background: What did you do in your previous life or still do in addition to blogging? I guess what I’m getting at here is what uniquely qualifies you to be a blogger other than a dollar and a dream?
I can tell you that customer service and dental assisting did NOT prepare me for this. But I’ve always loved to write, and my secret dream that I never really chased was to write for magazines. It honestly never occurred to me when I started blogging that I was headed in that direction, but I do some online freelancing now, and someday (soon?), I hope to make it into print. Print’s not dead, I say!

Continue reading “Better Know A Blogger: Jenn from Something Clever 2.0”

Moving & Storage Units: 2 Nightmares That Go Great Together

I'll just live here. It'll be easier.
I’ll just live here. It’s easier.

Today I’m over on, your one stop shop for humor. They allowed me to join the board so now I’m an official board member of humor. That’s right. I’ll decide what’s funny or not. Just kidding. I act in no official capacity and have no actual power at all although I kinda wish it did. Because that would be fun. Anyway, I’m over there reprising my piece on storage wars, but if you didn’t read it, it’s new to you. So have at it because if you have moved, are moving, or might move at some point in your life, you’ll appreciate this.


For a good time, join me on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter. And get regularly scheduled fun by entering your email address right over there –> to the right because I don’t know how to enter it here.