Listen to Your Mother

The Listen to Your Mother cast of the 2017 North Jersey show. LTYM in New Jersey.

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Maybe that should say listen to your Motha. Because I’m going to be part of the 2017 North Jersey production of the Listen to Your Mother show to take place this weekend. I’m super excited about being included in this production created in tribute to motherhood (because if anything deserves a tribute, it’s motherhood), and I’m honored to be included among this talented cast of writers. I’m also a little nervous. I haven’t committed my piece to memory although memorization isn’t entirely necessary as we’ll have a printed copy to read from at the podium, but I haven’t practiced as much as I should, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to draw a blank as soon as I walk onto the stage, and then I’ll stare out at the expectant audience mute before I run off stage in hysterics.

That’ show I imagine it will go down, anyway, but I’ll keep you posted.

The producers have assured us we won’t be able to see the audience from the stage, which is a huge relief. When we look out all we’ll see is a sea of black so perhaps I can pretend there’s no one out there. Who needs to see people staring back at you? That’s just awful. Why would anyone make us do that? Why would anyone make us read our work in front of other people? That’s like the ultimate torture. I don’t like reading my work aloud to myself and certainly not to other people. It’s awkward and embarrassing. If someone else read my essay I’m sure it would sound much better. But, noooo, the producers are making me do it. I think they have a bit of a sadistic side. I doubt there’s any getting out of it now since the show’s tomorrow, but my plan is to practice all day long until I’ve grounded the words into my brain. We also have practice for several hours tomorrow before showtime so hopefully I’ll be able to remember what the hell I’m saying. Tomorrow’s going to be a full day. We have to be at the theater at 10:00 a.m. ahead of the first show, which starts at 2:00. That should be plenty of time. With all that practice I can’t mess up, right?

The Terror.

Have you ever watched any of the Listen to Your Mother YouTube videos? Not one person stumbles or botches their lines. Not ONE. I’ve watched them all. Well, not all but plenty, and everybody is the consummate professional. Unlike me. I hope I don’t ruin the show.

I also heard the curtains that form the backdrop behind us on stage is mustard color. Shouldn’t be too difficult to find an outfit that won’t clash.

The Listen to Your Mother cast of the 2017 North Jersey show. LTYM in New Jersey.
The (adorable) cast of the 2017 North Jersey Listen to Your Mother show.

There we are. Don’t we look cute? See me all the way on the right sitting on the rail? Remind me never to do that again. The photographer actually encouraged people to sit on the banister. She didn’t say you’d looked all hunched over and fat, but that’s my sweater bunching up! it’s not my rolls (I hope).

Alright I have to go practice now and figure out what I’m going to wear. What pairs well with mustard?

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