Today I wanted to do a very special Mother’s Day post to go along with my Mother’s Day Week, which is kind of like Shark Week only without the sharks. I think moms deserve a week-long tribute for all we do. Or at least a week free of being hassled in addition to all we do. So I called it.
“This is my week,” I said, “and you people (and by that I meant my family) will listen to me and do what I say without giving me any grief.”
Which made my kids immediately groan, but I cut them off. “FOR A WHOLE WEEK.”
“But, mom…” they protested.
“Those are the rules,” I snapped. “That’s what I want for Mother’s Day.”
I think it’s a very doable request. My kids tend to think otherwise. But, honestly, it’s fairly reasonable when you consider all that a mother is and all she does for her family. I’ve been giving that quite a lot of thought recently in light of the big day in my honor when I will mostly likely cook and clean and look after the kids. So no different than any other day. For about five minutes I thought long and hard about the meaning of the word “mother.” What singular word best describes a mom? What word encompasses the enormity of the job?
Then I turned to the dictionary. I couldn’t come up with anything on my own. My brain is shot people. I have kids. Starting with “f” words (since I’ve noticed the people seem to love “f” words), I perused the fine print. Sadly, there were no adequate “f” words in this instance. So I said to myself, “Self, when you think of mother what word pops into your head?” Instantly I had it. Hard working. But I wanted one word that said it all not two so I turned to my thesaurus, who is always there for me in my time of need (of words that are synonyms for other words), and found the perfect word. Sedulous. It was a word I’d never heard before, but one that perfectly defined a mother.
It means persistently or carefully maintained. What better word could there be? If children aren’t persistently and carefully maintained by their mothers, I don’t know what is.
So I had my word. Unfortunately, I did not have my wish. Throughout the week my kids continued to bicker and complain and neglect their chores and tell me they brushed their teeth when they, in fact, never had any intentions of ever brushing their teeth and stomped their feet when I forced them to go brush their teeth for real. Perhaps that means I’ll be getting the other gift on my wish list. A flask. It’s the gift every mother longs for because if kids are going to continue to moan and groan and be general pains in our arses at least we’ll have liquor cancel out the effects.
Happy Mother’s Day all! May you get exactly what you wish for.
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