Today, friends, I’m switching it up. I decided to do something in honor of the final season of my idol, lord and savior and soul-mate, Stephen Colbert. Like you I am despondent over his departure from Comedy Central. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to handle the move when the time comes. Not well is my guess. If you don’t know I’ve had a long-standing crush on Stephen. He is the one person in all the world, if given a free pass by my husband, I’d have a torrid affair with. This is no secret to anyone. I have been clear about my feelings for Stephen from the beginning. Before I married Kevin, I sat him down and gave him the hard truth. Yes, I love Kevin, but I love Stephen more, and Kevin understands this kind of love cannot be controlled. Still, Kevin agreed to the marriage and does not appear to feel threatened.
Inspired by and in tribute to Stephen work and his Better Know a District segment, I’m doing a Better Know a Blogger series. If you’ve never seen it below is a little taste, the 78th installment in his 434 part series (mine won’t be quite as long). This is perhaps my favorite one in which Stephen duals a representative for the right to become a member of the black caucus. And wins.
I don’t claim to know how to fence or be nearly as clever as Stephen, but if I can bring but just a tiny fraction of the levity, insight and wisdom he brought to the world, I would be humbled. I’m kicking off the series with a bang. First up is Abby from Abby Has Issues. Oh, yeah, you thought you knew her issues, but you didn’t know jack. With my hard-hitting questions, you’ll get to see Abby exposed and Better Know a Blogger.
OFM: Why did you decide to start your blog, and did you have any idea what you were getting yourself into?
AHI: I started it about four years ago, and my first posts were absolutely horrible. While I’m a writer/editor for employment, I wanted to write for enjoyment. The focus of my blog has shifted about 856 percent since then and it’s mostly humor with the occasional deep thought post about depression, OCD or life. Basically both sides of the coin. And I had no idea what I was getting into and still don’t know how to do most of the fancy crap. Writing is only part of it—the only part of it that I’m good at—and the rest has become images and marketing and, well, kind of like work. I do enough of that in the office, or do a good job of pretending I do. My blog is a place for my hobby (although I care way too much about that hobby and wish it was my job but the Bloggess hasn’t agreed to adopt me yet.)
OFM: Do you have a blogging schedule? If so, what is it? Does it help? Does it change? Do you want to stomp on it, and tell people to go away – you have enough to do?
AHI: A blogging schedule? I know people schedule posts and tweets, but I haven’t remembered to schedule a haircut in three months. A couple months ago though I started a Friday blogger series so I could show off some rock stars but also so I was guaranteed one decent post. Generally I post two or three times a week though, but only if I have something to say…and remember it long enough to write it down.
OFM: Tell us a little bit about your background. What did you do in your previous life or still do in addition to blogging? I guess what I’m getting at here is what uniquely qualifies you to be a blogger other than a dollar and a dream?
Ha! I heard a rumor people make money by blogging, but for me I’ve never made a dime. I have a full-time job as a writer/editor of national trade publications and blog to keep my questionable sanity (judged on a curve by the company I keep.) I suppose my blogger qualifications would be that I am a professional writer who is neurotic and uses humor to make other people feel better about their issues in comparison to me. And I have a computer.
OFM: Do you have any kids, how many and why? Why would you do that to yourself?
AHI: My maternal instincts extend only to the protective feelings I get over food.
OFM: Which of the following statements (and this could have major implications for our relationship going forward) would you be more likely to agree with: Yes, people can have granddogs. Or, No, it’s physically impossible for people to have grandpets of any kind. This question is based on a bumper sticker I once saw, and I’m just trying to tell who among us is crazy because the answer will give us all the information we need to make that decision.
AHI: My mom would say “yes” because she knows she’ll never get grandkids out of me, and she’s practically Dr. Doo little, but I also don’t have pets right now, so she would be relegated to adopted woodland creatures from my yard that are plotting a hostile takeover regarding the brand of seed I use.
Anyway, I think I would rather have granddogs than grandkids myself, so I say “to each their own!”
OFM: What is your social media platform of choice? What social media or tech thingy should be wiped off the face of the earth?
AHI: I like Facebook best and fail at Twitter and Pinterest. I don’t even have a smartphone so I think anything that keeps enabling the selfie craze should go away. Unless they’re selfies of sloths wearing sweaters.
OFM: What is one pet peeve of yours that no one should ever do in your presence if they know what’s good for them?
AHI: I can’t pick just one, so you get a couple. First, it’s “I COULDN’T care less” and not “I COULD care less.” (At least most of the time, unless you really could care less, then more power to you.) I also can’t stand the sound of people eating corn on the cob or apples.
(*Makes note.* Do NOT eat apples in front of Abby.)
OFM: What is one of your hidden talents if you have one?
AHI: Hmmm…if I had any talents, I probably wouldn’t hide them. I would most likely blog about them. But, I can do the splits all three ways, have kept a fake tree alive for five years and can go from “Nothing sounds good” to “Why is there not more of this to shove in my mouth?!?” in .5 seconds.
OFM: And – this was a question on a Facebook post going around – but I find it amusing and fun so let’s do it here. What are 3 movies you’ve seen more than 3 times?
AHI: All the Rocky movies—I had memorized all the lines from all five by the time I was about 13. Forgetting Sarah Marshall/Anchorman/Zoolander never fail to make me laugh, and a couple girl ones are Waitress and Kissing Jessica Stein. That’s more than three, but I’m going for extra credit here.
OFM: Bonus question, what is your favorite book or books?
AHI: There is no way I could pick. I do have a Pinterest book board though with books I would recommend (including, quite possibly, a couple of my own. I go by the pen name, “Mary Karr,” “David Sedaris” or “Allie Brosch.”)
And if you really want to know all about Abby and her issues check out The 10 Commandments of Grocery Shopping, which went viral with over 200,000 hits, and after that read A Letter to My Yoga Pants because who hasn’t wanted to correspond with her pants?
Tune in next week and every Wednesday thereafter (until I run out) for the next in the series, and better know a blogger.
Powered by Facebook Comments