I Don’t Understand


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First allow me to start off by wishing you and yours a very merry holiday.

Ok, that was last month, but still. Did you guys know that “National Dance Day” was a day? I’m all for dance – in fact I love to dance – but unless we’re all gonna get a day off to go clubbing, I think it’s time we called an end to naming everything it’s own Goddamn day. Kk? Our morbidly obese nation doesn’t need a National Pancake Day or a National Potato Chip Day or a National Crown Roast of Pork Day. Seriously. That’s a day. The only problem is I wish they could have been a little more specific.

There is the more general Poultry Day, but that only makes me ask: Does anyone really need to be reminded about poultry? “Oh, yeah, chicken. I totally forgot all about chicken.” 

I also question the need, and even more so the desire, for a National Frozen Food Day. Have people ever rejoiced in a cold, hard slab of frozen grey meat? Is frozen food a cause for celebration? “Here, Honey, I got you a Hungry Man dinner for National Frozen Foods Day! I hope you like it!” 

Certainly, we don’t need National Donut Day as if the donut has fallen into disfavor.

Granted, National Dance Day is a healthy and happy holiday, but I still don’t understand why we have it or what it’s for or what it’s suppose to accomplish. In my research of all stupid, made-up holidays I also found many other interesting, non-food related holidays. There’s National Pharmacist Day. Huh? International Dog Biscuit Appreciation day. Wha? National Handwriting Day. Purpose? National If Pets Had Thumbs Day (Ok, now that one we need). And, National Squirrel Appreciation Day. ?? 

Now that's a squirrel I can appreciate.
Now that squirrel has a shot at being appreciated.

I’ll tell you what. I’ll appreciate squirrels when they stay the hell out of my attic, Ok? Just kidding. I have nothing against the squirrel, but I wonder if we really need a day set aside to reflect on and marvel at the twitchy, shifty-eyed, little rodent.  

You know what else I don’t appreciate? This…

Why is it whenever something gets fixed it doesn’t work? I’ll never understand that. Or the latest fashion trends.

 

Because that seems like a pretty basic tenet of dressing, no?  

I may not understand a lot, but I’m not the only one. Qwertygirl doesn’t understand stuff either.  

Genius. Speaking of genius and inventions…

The microwave inventor had it all figured out.

And so does Motivation for Life.

There’s only 5 rules, and I got them all wrong.

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