Give me a break. I just moved, and I had to let the people know about Perfectly Popped popcorn so that their popcorn would never get burned again. That’s important! Anyway, Tweetpeat Tuesday, Tweetpeat Wednesday. What’s the difference? Other than Tweetpeat Wednesday doesn’t have that alliteration ring to it, which is the whole reason I started Tweetpeat Tuesday in the first place. But a funny tweet is a funny tweet, and it deserves it’s own day of the week no matter what.
After a brief (unintentional) hiatus from Twitter (I would never leave you, Twitter. You know I love you.) I came across some pretty funny tweets last week that I would like to share with you now in no specific order or organizing theme because who has time to organize their thoughts anymore for Pete’s sake?
Well, do you want to read something funny or not?
Me: Sorry, I didn’t hear what you said. Wife: When? Me: Ever.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 21, 2014
To which Angelina and the rest of womankind had something to say.
Mine too, Angelina, mine too. #SadButTrue.
You know what else is sad but true? This:
I just said, “I’m too tired to finish this drink” and it’s like I don’t even know who I am anymore. — Misstlovestrinkets (@mstluvstrinkets) July 18, 2014
I remember that moment. It was the beginning of a dark period in my life.
Before that my life was like this:
Girls always go to the restroom together because that’s where they rap battle. — Rock (@TheMichaelRock) July 10, 2014
Ah, I miss those days. Battling it out in the public bathroom. Those were some good times.
You know what else is a good time? This:
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple ‘thank you’ is all I need. Not all this ‘how did you get in my house?’ business. — Christine (@KekeModestie) July 20, 2014
The nerve of some people.
Other people, like this dentist, restore my faith in humanity.
Of course, Twitter is always there for you.
Congratulations, your tweet was favorited by 77 million people. You’re still lonely. — mr. fisher (@brocketxyz) May 30, 2014
Which leads me to:
The biggest challenge of the next generation will be finding an username which hasn’t been taken yet. — Christine (@KekeModestie) July 8, 2014
Sucks for them. The next generation is going to have it rough.
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