I Love the 80’s Prom Dress Edition

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Tweetpeat Tuesday is temporarily suspended to bring you this important announcement.

As you may or may not know, there’s a little thing called BlogU 14 going on this weekend. And as you may or may not know there is a little thing call the 80’s Prom Party going on. I happened to not know until fairly recently. Which was a problem.

I want to party all night in the neon light, and by that I mean stay up till 10:00 P.M., but I don’t have a prom dress. So I’m afraid I’ll be kicked out or ridiculed mercilessly or ostracized because all the good bloggers got their dresses months ago, but I can’t think that far in advance, and I also didn’t know anything about the prom party until about last week because Facebook just confuses me, and I can’t follow all the threads or figure out what everyone is talking about or handle the 5,000 notifications on the top of the page if God forbid I skipped one day of check my Facebook page or make any kind of sense out of the twenty thousand columns. Facebook makes me panicky so for mental health reasons I try to stay off it.

Of course, this means I never know what the hell’s going on because short bursts of undecipherable information is how the world likes to communicate these days.

So last night after I mopped the floor (because the buyers are coming back today to do the home inspection and we can’t mess this up) and took a shower (because dirty) and tried to figure out what to do with my kids for the summer because I have not signed them up for one God damn thing because I’m trying to ignore the fact that school’s ending, I sat down at 10:00 to find my perfect prom dress, buy it and have it delivered for the conference, which is in 3 days. Oh, and buy my Amtrak tickets because I don’t have that either. I was up till midnight at which point I called it a night having procured neither. Then I couldn’t fall asleep because my head was full with prom dresses and how I’m going to get to the conference and how can I even go when I have so much to do that when I finally fell asleep I think I slept funny because now my neck hurts.

Although I’m tired and cranky today, I did have quite an entertaining night scrolling through all the spectacularly hideous 80’s prom dresses. I mean they were some truly awful creations, and I have to ask, who’s idea was the 80’s? Did we have to have both the worst fashion and music? Did anyone actually go to design school in the 80’s? Were all fashion designers misogynists? Not one of the hallmark 80’s design elements (poofy sleeves, big butt bows, metallic fabrics) look attractive on a women but all of them together? TOGETHER?

They are a marvel to behold, though, and I definitely would have had trouble deciding had any of them come in my size. Sadly, they were all in size small or extra small. What the hell? No medium people ever went to the prom? Anyway, Here’s a sampling of the dresses representing the full gamut of the 80’s fashion aesthetic, which I would have been wearing this weekend if I could.

Ah, the 80's. I especially like the silver sequined embellishment at the neckline
Ah, the 80’s. I especially like the silver sequined embellishment at the neckline

My junior prom dress looked something like this:

I wore something like this to my junior prom.
You can never have too much lace. Or pink. Or pink lace.


Actually, it was more of a combination of the pink one and this:

Actually my junior prom dress was a combination of this one and the pink one above.
The more sequinier the better!

If they had this blue and white one in my size, I think this would have been the winner for Blog U 14.

Of course, we can’t forget about teal.

Let's not forget about the big color of the 80's - teal (and peach).
The “it” color of the 80’s (along with peach).

This next one might get my vote for most depressing.

Let us not forget chest bows in forest green satin with puffy sleeves.
Let us not forget chest bows or puffy sleeves.

And last but certainly not least…

I love this white and gold (because, really, there's no better color combination) ruched and ruffled Little Bo Peep dress.
I love this white and gold (because, really, there’s no better color combination) ruched and ruffled lace (because you can never have too much going on in a dress) Little Bo Peep dress.

All I have to say is why, 80’s, why?

I might just go with my kitty pants. What do you think? And which dress is your favorite?




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8 thoughts on “I Love the 80’s Prom Dress Edition”

  1. The pink lace one looks like something my archenemy wore to our prom. She made it herself–it was her senior project. It was ugly. I actually like the depressing one best, although maybe in a different color. Maybe I like it because it looks a lot like the dress I actually wore to prom, which looked just like it, only minus the chest bow and in red with white polka dots on it.

    I’m jealous you’re getting to go to BlogU. I’m on the other side of the country, and it just wasn’t in the budget. And now to find out you’re all going to be wearing ugly prom dresses and dancing to “Billy Jean” until 10 p.m…and it’s not even like it really was in high school, when I could console myself with “The Love Boat” and pretend that I didn’t REALLY want to be at the party with the cool kids; that I was perfectly happy with Captain Steubing and Julie McCoy my cruise director. There is no “Love Boat” anymore. Maybe I can find it on Hulu.

  2. OMG – another reason I wish I were going this weekend! I still have my prom dress and it’s a mix of your junior prom dress and the purple number up top. It was Cinderella all the way. Pink, puffy sleeves and poofy bottom. Oh lord, that prom is gonna be funny. Can’t wait to see the pictures.
    And I’m like you; I miss a lot of stuff on Facebook because I stay away for one day, or heck – an hour and I’m outta the loop. Have fun this weekend!!

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