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Tweetpeat Tuesday is temporarily suspended to bring you this important announcement.
As you may or may not know, there’s a little thing called BlogU 14 going on this weekend. And as you may or may not know there is a little thing call the 80’s Prom Party going on. I happened to not know until fairly recently. Which was a problem.
I want to party all night in the neon light, and by that I mean stay up till 10:00 P.M., but I don’t have a prom dress. So I’m afraid I’ll be kicked out or ridiculed mercilessly or ostracized because all the good bloggers got their dresses months ago, but I can’t think that far in advance, and I also didn’t know anything about the prom party until about last week because Facebook just confuses me, and I can’t follow all the threads or figure out what everyone is talking about or handle the 5,000 notifications on the top of the page if God forbid I skipped one day of check my Facebook page or make any kind of sense out of the twenty thousand columns. Facebook makes me panicky so for mental health reasons I try to stay off it.
Of course, this means I never know what the hell’s going on because short bursts of undecipherable information is how the world likes to communicate these days.
So last night after I mopped the floor (because the buyers are coming back today to do the home inspection and we can’t mess this up) and took a shower (because dirty) and tried to figure out what to do with my kids for the summer because I have not signed them up for one God damn thing because I’m trying to ignore the fact that school’s ending, I sat down at 10:00 to find my perfect prom dress, buy it and have it delivered for the conference, which is in 3 days. Oh, and buy my Amtrak tickets because I don’t have that either. I was up till midnight at which point I called it a night having procured neither. Then I couldn’t fall asleep because my head was full with prom dresses and how I’m going to get to the conference and how can I even go when I have so much to do that when I finally fell asleep I think I slept funny because now my neck hurts.
Although I’m tired and cranky today, I did have quite an entertaining night scrolling through all the spectacularly hideous 80’s prom dresses. I mean they were some truly awful creations, and I have to ask, who’s idea was the 80’s? Did we have to have both the worst fashion and music? Did anyone actually go to design school in the 80’s? Were all fashion designers misogynists? Not one of the hallmark 80’s design elements (poofy sleeves, big butt bows, metallic fabrics) look attractive on a women but all of them together? TOGETHER?
They are a marvel to behold, though, and I definitely would have had trouble deciding had any of them come in my size. Sadly, they were all in size small or extra small. What the hell? No medium people ever went to the prom? Anyway, Here’s a sampling of the dresses representing the full gamut of the 80’s fashion aesthetic, which I would have been wearing this weekend if I could.
My junior prom dress looked something like this:
Actually, it was more of a combination of the pink one and this:
If they had this blue and white one in my size, I think this would have been the winner for Blog U 14.
Of course, we can’t forget about teal.
This next one might get my vote for most depressing.
And last but certainly not least…
All I have to say is why, 80’s, why?
I might just go with my kitty pants. What do you think? And which dress is your favorite?
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