I know I’ve found a good tweet when I read it over again a day later, and it still makes me crack up as if I’m reading it for the first time. It’s like two for the price of one. Which is great because I’m a blogger, and I’m broke.
Below are those tweets. Here’s hoping they bring you as much joy as they’ve brought me. Over and over again.
I’m at my most gangsta when the minivan is packed with my posse, that radio is cranked, and we ain’t even caring about Target’s speed bumps.
— Skinnie Talls (@SkinnieTalls) November 27, 2013
Can’t you just see the gold minivan bouncing slowly through the Target parking lot with Macklemore at the wheel in a thrift shop faux fur leopard print coat? And they’re jamming to The Wiggles. That’s what I picture anyway.
I, however, had never pictured this. Until now. And for that I’m sincerely sorry.
The kids were surprised when the piñata bled mini-liquor bottles. They were even more so when their parents came in like lions to the kill. — The Rolo (@TheRolo) May 3, 2014
If that’s not a great opening line to a book, I don’t know what is. It’s also an ingenious party idea. I think I see my kid’s next birthday celebration now.
Speaking of liquor-fueled parties…
At least the six-year-old is learning valuable life skills for future career opportunities. Because eventually he’s going to need to support himself. Maybe even earlier than expected.
It’s important for me to teach my kids to be independent & self-reliant, cause I won’t be around forever, especially if I win the lottery.
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) March 5, 2014
If he doesn’t win the lottery, he can always take a page from Brian Hope’s book.
I wanted to lie back down again this morning so I made my 6 year old and 3 year old some toast and put on Saving Private Ryan . — Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) May 4, 2014
That’s a great movie. And kids simply don’t get enough history in school these days. It’s a good learning experience.
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