May Your Mother’s Day Be Filled With Love & Liquor


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Today in honor of Mother’s Day I’m reposting a post I already posted. It’s my Mother’s Day gift to myself. So if you’ve read it before, sorry, but it’s still funny. And if you haven’t read it, it’s new to you.

Vodka

Today I thought I’d bring you a special Mother’s Day edition of Tweetpeat Tuesday. It all started when I tweeted this tweet last week. It really seemed to speak to people.

Flask to Carnival

It’s a dumb question. Obviously, I’m going to need a flask. Too bad I don’t own one. I would have filled it with something particularly potent like straight gin before leaving the house. I survived nonetheless, and I also came up with a fantastic Mother’s Day gift idea. The gift on every mother’s wish list. A flask – for all the times you’re stuck with the kids also known as your life.

It’s the gift I want. Too bad Mr. Potato Head doesn’t read my blog. I guess I’ll just have to tell him point blank, which is no different from the way we do everything else really. It takes all the mystery out of it, but my husband never really coped well with mystery. It took me nearly two decades, but I learned it was best just to be blunt.

So here I am, and I thought what goes better with Mother’s Day than alcohol? Easy answer: Nothing. And this liquor-themed Mother’s Day post was born. Who better to start off with a Mother’s Day celebration suggestion than my new favorite twit and drunken housewife, The Drunken Homemaker?

DH Whisktea

What a refreshing and stiff drink to serve at a Mother’s Day brunch. I’m sure it will be a welcome treat for all your thirsty guests. Simply say, “WhiskTea, anyone?” It’s bound to be met with a resounding, “Oooh, that sounds delicious. I’ll take 10.”

Ice tea or Whisktea? I'll never tell.
Ice tea or Whisktea? I’ll never tell.

The Drunken Homemaker is full of great advice and insightful observations. Just listen to what she said next.

DH Fat Tuesday

Mine too. I never realized it before, but TDH is right. If, however, we came up with some seed money to finance my wine commune idea, we’d never have to wait for Fat Tuesday again.

Wine Comune

That’s when it hit me. I had to start a wine commune. We’d market it with the tag line, Fat Tuesday isn’t just for Fat Tuesday anymore.

The wine commune was the answer to all my prayers. It would solve so many other problems, as well, like the one most likely striking many a Mother’s Day table this weekend.

Boxed Wine

With my wine commune, you’ll never face that problem again!

So make it a happy Mother’s Day for me and send cash or money orders care of One Funny Motha to

One Funny Motha Boulevard

Crazytown, USA

 

I’ll leave you today with this, a tweet specifically discussing Mother’s Day and the people that make it possible and then ruin it all.

Mother's Day Bike

 

That’s it. Have a Happy Mother’s Day. If you learned anything here today, you will.

 

photo credit: -12°C via photopin cc
photo credit: Carolyn_Sewell via photopin cc
photo credit: MzScarlett via photopin cc

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7 thoughts on “May Your Mother’s Day Be Filled With Love & Liquor”

  1. The school carnival is tomorrow night, god help me, and while I won’t be taking a flask (although I do have one!), I have resolved to my travel mug (the one I use for *ahem* coffee) filled with wine. How the hell else do they expect me to get through a one hour shift of the Clown Toss? The PTO should be PROVIDING the wine, for god’s sake. But until I read this, it hadn’t really occurred to me to do it, so thank you for contributing to the salvation of what’s left of my fragile sanity.

        1. On Mother’s day weekend? That’s outrageous. Who the hell do they think is running the God damn carnival in the 1st place?

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