I don’t know if you heard, but last week I found out when you Google kittyrama I’m the top search result! When I saw my blog at the top of the list I could hardly believe my eyes. Do you know how much traffic that’ll bring in? Think about all the people searching for “kittyrama.”
Really, I have no idea who would be Googling kittyrama. I don’t even know what kittyrama is except my failed attempt at having a kitty-themed blog. It was going to be great. All kitties all the time. But my kitties weren’t the least bit helpful. And now my dream will never be realized. All because kitties are selfish jerks.*
But there’s still hope for my blog. I also discovered if you Google “Mr. Clean would make the best husband,” in those specific terms, I’m the #1 search result for that too. With those two top search results I’m not sure how my blog hasn’t taken off.
There are some other good search terms that lead people to my blog, too. After those two, I think my top term might be “naked yoga.” I get a lot of people here for that, which I find slightly disturbing. I mean I like writing about naked yoga as much as the next blogger, but you wouldn’t believe how many people are searching for naked yoga. And, I think they’re serious.
Every day that term comes up in my search results. I get a whole assortment of terms like “nude yoga co ed,” “practicing naked yoga,” “all nude yoga pictures,” and the most recent, “naked yoga poses.” All I want to say is “No.” I understand I wrote the post about it, but I think people are missing the point. We are not supposed to seek out naked yoga poses. We are supposed to run as fast as we can, far, far away from them and never look back.
Then this week I came across a term that was worse than all those naked ones combined. Someone searched “dude spreading his butt.” I beg your pardon? That’s where I draw the line. No one should ever find my blog using that term. There should be some kind of block for that. I really don’t need to know about that. Naked yoga’s bad enough.
Since I can’t leave you with that as your last thought – I want to leave you on a positive note – I’ll just mention one final search result. “Funny bunnies with weird teeth.” ?? I’m not sure why anyone is searching for that, but it does raise my spirits. That’s the kind of searching we should be doing. For bunnies with weird teeth, and kitties and fuzzy ducklings and all things good and cute in the world.
Now, if I can just make it into the top search result for that term.
*Just kidding. I love my kitties.
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