Co-Ed Naked Yoga Anyone?

Co-ed Naked Yoga is happening adn I thought you should know about it. @OneFunnyMotha

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I posted about co-ed naked yoga on Facebook when I discovered this was an actually thing. But I quickly realized a mere Facebook status update was not enough. I have more, much more, to say on this topic.

My thought process went like this: Who the hell does this? And then: Who does it and finds other people willing to do it, too? And then: Who does it, finds a group of willing participants and pays for the privilege of stripping naked in front of a room full of strangers to strike a very awkward and revealing pose? That’s were I really run into trouble wrapping my head around this whole thing.

 

Co-ed Naked Yoga is happening adn I thought you should know about it. @OneFunnyMotha

I could see some wacko wanting to do naked yoga. That’s fine. Do your naked yoga in your bedroom alone with the shades drawn. No problems here. But don’t take that out into the public sphere for Pete’s sake. Allow me just a little bit of brain space free from such thoughts. It’s the least you can do. Is it not bad enough we have Miley Cyrus and the Kardashians to deal with?

I could see some wacko wanting to do naked #yoga. That's fine. Do your #nakedyoga in your bedroom alone with the shades drawn. Click To Tweet

When I read the article about the Bold and Naked studio in New York, I felt compelled to review the proponents’ statements out of a desperate need to understand. Why? Why did they do this?

Their arguments did not help me. Here are the participants’ delusional statements followed by actual reality.

“When we’re naked it’s like we are all the same,” one practitioner said. Actually, the opposite is true. When you’re in a co-ed naked class you can see exactly how you are not the same.

The article also stated that naked yoga is about “finding the strength to expose your vulnerability and connect to yourself and others on the deepest level.” You know what? I’m good. I really don’t want to connect with complete strangers on the deepest level. Call me old fashioned, but I think we should get to know each other a little first. I’d like to at least be taken out to dinner before I disrobe in front of someone.

I just don’t know how you’d be able to take this class and look anyone in the eye afterward. Or, how you’d handle that gut-wrenching moment when you have to walk into a crowded room full of strangers naked. I’m assuming they have locker rooms. Perhaps they just strip down right there in class? But that would be a little awkward, don’t you think?

 

This is the only acceptable form of naked yoga.
This is the only acceptable form of naked yoga. Photo credit: ju-leo via photopin cc

I wouldn’t even want to do naked yoga by myself let alone in a room full of people and certainly not with members of the opposite sex. I don’t even like being in fully clothed co-ed yoga classes. Yoga is a very personal and intimate practice especially if it requires partnering, and I don’t like touching or grabbing strangers’ bodies of either sex. I actually quit one yoga class after a partnering exercise where I and the nice woman next to me had to spot each other. Positioned behind her, I had to hold her waist as she did a hand stand and spread her legs into a V formation. If you’ve never done such a pose, let me explain something to you. This position means my face is at direct ass-level while she’s upside down, balancing on her hands. It also means I am in very close proximity to her anus as I’m gripping her torso. It was not only forced, extreme intimacy but also rather unpleasant. I felt violated.

Then it was my turn.

I did my pose thankful I had bathed that morning, left the class and never went back. So the idea of this co-ed naked yoga just boggles my mind. Especially when you think about how common downward dog is in classes. How the hell are you going to do a downward dog naked?

Think about it people. This is what we are talking about here.

Co-ed Naked Yoga Anyone?

The thing is when I hear stuff like this it makes me question the kind of world I live in. It also makes me question whether I want to be a part of that world. Right now I’m leaning toward no. To each their own I say. I just don’t want to know about it. If I know, I have to confront it. I have to acknowledge exactly how insane this place is. And I don’t want to do that. I want to think I live in a good world, a nice world, a world that makes sense.

Instead, I have to know I live in a world with naked yoga.

*Just so you know I spared you some of the more disturbing images. 

If you like this, you’ll love my book, I STILL JUST WANT TO PEE ALONE, the third installment in The New York Times best-selling series from some of the funniest women on the web. For a good time get it on AmazonKindleiTunes and Barnes and Noble. I will love you forever. 

Top photo credit: Facebook/NudeDudeYoga

Bottom photo credit: class 6 via photopin (license)

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33 thoughts on “Co-Ed Naked Yoga Anyone?”

  1. From the moment the words “coed naked yoga” passed my retina, ALL I could think was, “I’d die in downward facing dog.” I mean, I’m 43, have breastfed 4 kids, and am a victim of gravity. With nothing to hold the girls back, they’d take their revenge by droppin on down and smothering me! The headlines? Would NOT be pretty.
    I have to agree with you; what the hell is wrong with people today!?!

    1. You HAVE to go! That’s an order. My friends were telling me I had to go & try it out if I REALLY wanted to write about it. I said I would go & observe. Oh, Thx for posting the article on FB. That’s how I found out about this nonsense.

  2. I know. THat’s why I sent out alert on Twitter & FB to NEVER under any circumstances Google Naked Yoga images. I’m still trying to recover.

  3. Forget my 50-year old bod. The male form was not designed to do naked yoga. Just think about the view from the rear. Seriously. Or maybe don’t think about. For sure – don’t LOOK at it.

  4. Hilarious! I have to say, only in Chelsea would this happen. I vote you should do it and report back. In fact, if you do it, I’ll join you. Just no pics please 😉

    1. I say we do it! But purely for research purposes & in professional roles as reporters (i.e. fully clothed – I may even wear a hat, gloves, hood and scarf.

  5. I just wrote about this too. How could we not? It’s a crazy, crazy world and it gives us such good material sometimes. Between this and the “conscious uncoupling” thing, I’d say this week has been pure gold! 😉 You can’t help thinking they better be bringing their own mats, too, right? lol

    1. Holy Moley – this was rich, wasn’t it? I love it and hate it at the same time. I totally forgot about the whole mat thing until a friend mentioned it & I was totally grossed out.

  6. While I did laugh when I read your article, it was more the absurdity of your position. See, I’ve done nude yoga, many times. And as an RTY I’ve even taught nude yoga, for several years in fact. Your assumption about what people “see” or how you are judging people, or even yourself, based on your appearance is flawed. The reality is your fears are misplaced.

    Imagine being on the other side of this discussion for a minute, and someone told you they would never be caught dead wtih bare ankles, arms or heaven forbid your bare face. What is the world coming to when people in downward dog let the back of their lower legs be exposed. You would argue that that was silly, there is nothing wrong with exposing legs.

    Now imagine a world where it was no more a big deal to exposre your whole body than it is to expose your face without fear of being judged. You might say that that is not the society we live in. True but that just proves my point – these ideas are social ideas, not something we have to accept. These are ideas you can reject just as easily as you dismiss the idea of nude yoga.

    I’m sure that if you did try it, you would find its not at all what you think it is. I know, I’ve see exactly those same ideas you have melt away from people just like you who actually gave it a try.

    1. That’s the thing. How can you NOT look? And I’m sure there’s things in there I just don’t wanna see.

  7. Having done a naked class, I had all the fears that the OP states. It was an all male class and although I did know one person in the class, the rest were strangers to me.

    Once the class started my entire focus was on my practice, I was not looking around at others judging their bodies or wondering what their backside looked like in downward dog. I was not looking around to see if the other males in my class were more “Blessed” in certain areas. I cannot speak for the other males in the class, but if they wanted to look, let them, I am not there to impress (Not that I would) I am there for myself and to improve upon myself.

    I am planning to go again, now that the room of Strangers, but it is a room of people that I have practiced YOGA with.

  8. When I was an art student we often had naked models in various poses we were supposed to draw. The rooms were always hot so the model wouldn’t be cold. Some people really smelled bad. For some reason when I see these naked activities that is the first thing that comes to mind…stinky people!

  9. I consider myself fairly open minded but I don’t know if I could do it. Would certainly take some convincing……… mmmmmm but if I think about it, we only live once 🙂

  10. I have said it before and I’ll say it again: naked yoga and bigger boobs don’t mix. I’d end up with an unintended injury without a bra to keep those loose cannons in check.

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