I am touched and honored that Mamapotamus choose to bestow the Liebster award on my blog. She even, unwittingly, managed to do it on my birthday so it was extra nice. The only problem with awards is they come with so many rules, rules, rules, and I don’t like rules. Plus, this is the internet. There are no rules. So I’m not gonna follow them, and Mamapotamus can’t make me.
Ok, I’m not a total anarchist so I’ll follow some, but only the good ones, and by good I mean the ones I feel like doing.
According to the rules I’m supposed to answer 11 questions about myself, but how am I supposed to know everything? If I did, do you think I’d be here right now? I’d probably be the CEO of some Fortune 500 company. So I’ve decided to act like a politician and supply the answers I want to give even when it has nothing to do with the questions asked.
Oh, and since I’m also supposed to reveal 11 random facts about myself, these answers are also serving as my random facts. It’s called efficiency, people. Look it up.
1. I don’t know.
2. I don’t know.
3. The last thing my kid broke was the computer. Then I broke my kid. Read about it here.
4. If I had to be on a reality show I would want to be on “Top Chef,” but I don’t know how to cook plus I would totally crack under pressure so I would definitely get booted off in the first episode, and that wouldn’t be any fun. I have no idea why I love watching since I don’t like cooking, and I don’t get to eat anything they make, which makes it a little bit like torture, but it’s exciting and impressive to see these amazing courses they come up with under such stressful and difficult conditions. I guess I like watching because their work is an expression of artistry and passion, and these people are so dedicated and driven and committed to putting it all on the line to do what they love, which appeals to me.
5. Who is my favorite unattractive actor or actress? Honey Boo Boo? Ok, she’s not an actress so Steve Buscemi.
6. If I could erase one musician/band from history and it would not only eliminate their music but also their influence on the music industry, who would it be? White Snake? Or Motley Crew. Or Poison. Or Guns and Roses. Or Metallica. Basically my husband’s whole musical collection.
7. I smuggle whatever I can into the movies. Have you seen theater snack prices. $5 for a soda? Are you kidding me? Have you ever heard of Costco? See here.
8. I don’t know what my slow motion theme song would be, but when my husband and I got married and the DJ announced our entrance for the first time as a married couple, we entered the reception to the Rocky theme song. You know the one where he’s training and runs up all the steps at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. WE DID IT!
9. If I could be in two places at one time I would be in bed and dining at a fancy, four-star, Top Chef restaurant.
10. I don’t know.
11. I don’t really use video chat. I like to be mysterious.
Now I need to give the Liebster out to some people and come up with questions for them. I’ve decided to come up with the same exact questions as Mamapotomus. And the people I think should answer them are:
Kelly at Foxy Wine Pocket who’s just a little cray-cray and possibly starting her own exterminator business if the blog doesn’t pan out.
Normal Level of Crazy who I just happened upon the other day and is super funny.
Joy who truly does bring joy to the world at Comfy Town Chronicles.
Bad Playdate because anyone who goes on that many disastrous playdates deserves an award.
Molley at A Mother Life who is best all around – good mum (she’s an Aussie living in America), good person and good friend.
Keesha at Mom’s New Stage because she ain’t playin, and I like her style. Plus, she’s a dancer, which is pretty cool.
Smocky at School of Smock because she’s smart. Listen to her, people!
Shay at Trashy Blog because she keeps it real, yo, and funny.
Your award, if you choose to accept it, must be displayed in your post, and you must answer the 11 questions above once you’ve figure out what they are. Or not because I don’t play by the rules. Don’t nobody tell One Funny Motha what to do.
Just kidding. My kids boss me around all the time.
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