If you asked me, and I think you have because nobody forced you to come here now did they? I’d say there are plenty of words that should never, under any circumstances, ever be considered words. Not usable words, anyway, and by usable I mean condoned by society. As in someone might actually utter the illicit word, but the rest of us, the smart people, would recognize this is not a good word. We must not use this word. And there it would end, the word shunned dying on the vine, because we, the smart people, would see to it the poor word choice was never spoken of again.
This has not happened, and I’m not really sure why. Maybe because there’s not enough smart people in the world? Or the dumb people outnumber the smart people. I don’t know. But there are many, many words with which I disagree. As you may recall I’m not a big fan of newfangled words (see the post Suckily, which is one instance in which I take exception) or even some of the revived classics that get dredged up suddenly and popularized by the masses for some weird, unknown, purely sociological reason. Take the word “fabulous.” I never really liked this word. To me it was a little smug, a little too full of itself, and I chose not to add to its inflated ego and never used it. And, I most certainly never used its abbreviated form, “fab.” Fabulous wasn’t bad enough? People had to go around liberally sprinkling the non-word word, “fab,” into every single sentence?
“Oh, darling that Vuitton handbag is so fab! My Vuitton handbag is from last season and I’ve been so behind in updating it, it’s embarrassing. I just haven’t had the time with the holidays being so hectic and then the trip to St. Tropez before the kids went back to boarding school. I mean I haven’t had one minute to myself. It’s just awful. But I do need a fab bag, and how fab would this look with my Gucci boots? Don’t you think they would look just fab?”
Why does everything have to be so fab? Why not mix it up? Why not give some other words in the dictionary some attention? Splendiferous is a prime example. What’s wrong with using splendiferous? Splendiferous is a perfect substitute, and, in fact, its a much better word. It’s got character and spunk. It’s fun and peppy. Splendiferous actually is splendiferous. The word embodies itself.
I understand in this fast-passed, on-the-go world we need to be able to communicate quickly and efficiently, but if you had to shorten it, you could say, “splendid,” which is actually already a word. See? It all works out.
That’s just one of the many word problems facing our nation. Word crisises seem to be growing by the day (much like Governor Chris Christie’s Bridgegate), and the splendiferous vs. fabulous battle is fairly minor in comparison. Still, it bothers me. But what I really bothers me is all the new words currently being used. And not just by 13-year-olds or in text messages either. The other day The Kid said this to me: “The kitties are totes adorbs.” And I turned to her, stared her in the eye and stated in no uncertain terms, “Do not ever say those words to me again. Do you hear me? I won’t have it. Not in my house!”
Then there’s the “totes ridic” for totally ridiculous, and, personally, I feel if the kids are gonna say that, they should make it “totes ridonk” for totally ridonkulous, which is absolutely a perfectly acceptable new word and not nearly said enough. There’s also “obvi” for obviously, obviously. Which I believe I heard for the first time on the HBO series “Girls,” and I was like what? “What did she say? Rewind that.” I replayed it and replayed it but to no use, which is pretty much how I watch the every episode of that show because they talk really fast and use all sorts of made up words not part of the English language. I’m still trying to get a handle on all the words we already have. I don’t think we need to add any new ones.
Lastly, there’s “bffls” (pronounced biffles so you know when your kid comes home from grammar school and springs it on you). Originally, we had the tried and true BFF’s then came besties, and now we have bffls. It stands for best friends for life, and I actually don’t mind it too much. I guess because it has a nice ring to it; its use is limited to 13 year old girls; and it’s not so much a word as an acronym. The Kid says it all the time. Like totes. In fact, I don’t think she can compose a sentence without using totes adorbs or biffles, which is a little ridonkulous. She calls Kitty 1 her biffle practically everyday as she chases her, scoops her up and squeezes her little, crushable body to her chest while Kitty’s little black paws claw madly at the air. Although I do believe the statement to be true, I don’t think Kitty really has a say in it. I feel for Kitty. But, hey, she chose this life.
Ok, Kitty had no choice, but I think she sees The Kid as her biffle, too, because she follows her all around the house. Wherever The Kid is Kitty is.
Anyway, I really do hope these words are part of a passing trend like all those totes ridic valley girl phrases from the 80’s we were pestered by before they rightly passed into oblivion.
What’s your take? Am I being totes ridic?
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