In the third installment of “People: What’s Wrong With Them?” I’d like to share with you something I personally experienced. It’s nothing as bad as getting stuck in a toilet or being the realtor of a client demanding a master bedroom with a breakfast nook, but it was strange and baffling all the same.
The other day I was at the gym because we all know Monday is my gym day. No matter what, I made a commitment to work out once a week, and I’m sticking to it!
But first let me explain a little something to you about my gym. It’s not a real gym. Well it is, but it’s no fancy New York Sports Club or Gold’s Gym. (Is there still a Gold’s Gym?) Or a new-fangled Hard Bodyz (because I would never go to a place called Hard Bodyz with a “z”).
My gym is a bare-bones, no-frills, tiny little airless sweatbox at the community center. It’s essentially a very large walk-in closet with no ventilation. It’s not even the gym at the Y, which you’d think was the cheapest deal going. Nope. This gym is even cheaper. Because I really can’t see spending a lot of money on something you could do for free if you were motivated enough or poor enough but looking good in your skinny jeans was still high on your priority list.
Plus, I don’t need much.
All this background info is simply to illustrate the kind of facility it is and indicate of the type of clientele it draws. Which is this:
The place is perfectly fine although the people pumping iron there are primarily seniors citizens who come in all dressed for their day in corduroy slacks and oversized knit cardigans. And me. Which is great because I know without a doubt I could take any one of them. And if push comes to shove, I will. Don’t mess with me Grandpa or you’re going down!
Well, this day at the gym I’m doing my thang when “The Steve Harvey” show comes on. They have T.V.’s stationed around the room for a sort of shared communal experience while everyone individually suffers alone.
Ordinarily, I don’t even watch T.V. at the gym because I’d rather read, but the topic on the talk show that day drew my attention because it was about a woman who was dating again after a divorce, and while she really liked the guy she was perplexed by his behavior. He was sending her mixed signals.
I always love topics like this because the women are so willingly dense. I was like, “Steve, allow me.” I’m sure Steve could handle it and all, but I wanted to be the one to scream at the T.V. I didn’t even need to hear any more of the story.
“Um, he’s not giving you mixed signals. The signals are loud and clear. You’re just refusing to acknowledge them.” Steve gave her essentially the same advice and then went to commercial.
While all this is pretty fascinating stuff, none of it really has to do the weird thing that happened except to give you a sense of why it was so completely devastating. At the time of the commercial break I was lifting weights on a machine not facing the T.V., and I was thinking, I better finish this quick because I have see what Steve is going to say next.
And that’s when it happened. The sound from that T.V. was suddenly and violently cut off. I no longer heard the commercial. Nothing. After a few seconds I realized it was not just a momentary pause between commercials. What the…. What’s going on here?
I’m figuring it’s a technical glitch when I finish lifting and turn around to see a guy with the remote in his hand pointing it at the TV in the corner. My T.V. The one awaiting Steve Harvey’s return to go through the woman’s Twitter feed to analyze the tweets sent by the boyfriend who, by the way, refused to be called a boyfriend because he didn’t believe in “labels.”
All the air went out of me as if I’d been punched in the gut. Noooo! This can’t be happening. I was just about to hear the tweets. My God. The tweets!
But it was happening, as it sometimes does at the gym. Now, I don’t blame people for changing the channel in front of the equipment they’re using, and while it must have appeared like no one was watching the T.V. since no one was directly in front of it, the baffling part of the whole incident was that he didn’t even get on the elliptical in front of that T.V. He got on an elliptical at the other end of the gym in front of a completely different T.V. but one that was playing the same exact channel he’d just turned my T.V. to, and I just wanted to say, “What the heck, mister? Must everyone at the gym watch your channel? This isn’t a totalitarian state. Or, is it that the Steve Harvey Show so repulsive to you that it must be banished from your presence?”
The up shot is, I never got to see the tweets. And I just know they were awesome. I’m still pretty upset over it. And all I have to say is why, man-at-the-gym, why?
Powered by Facebook Comments