I have a special announcement to make. Don’t get you’re hopes up. It’s not that. It’s a guest post I’m doing over on Leanne Shirtliffe’s blog, Ironic Mom, for Whiteboard Wednesdays. On Wednesdays Leanne writes a quote on a cute, little virtual whiteboard from either herself or another funny motha (today it’s me!) stating something they never dreamed they’d ever say on that fateful day as they sat in their hospital bed holding their sweet, little, precious baby in their arms thinking sweat, little, precious thoughts, never once allowing reality to set in.
Because the reality is really more like this:
Unless you really do have a good baby like this:
But that baby is a complete aberration, and we all know, as we raise kids and the naivety quickly wears off, that kids grow up to do a bunch of stupid things, and you find yourself saying all sorts of stuff you never imagined you’d ever have to say in this (or any other) lifetime. Case in point. Just the other day I was in the kitchen preparing dinner while Crazy was yammering on about something, and I turned around to face him as he’s telling me his story. I’m looking straight at him, listening, when, without pause, he sticks his finger up his nose. He’s standing there continuing right on with the story while picking his nose. That’s when I calmly looked him in the eye and said, “Please don’t pick your nose while talking to me.”
Really, people, really? Must I tell him this? Is this not basic common sense?
But that’s what I’m talking about. Kids are stupid, and we have to tell them everything.
The thing is, unlike me, Leanne realized this early in life, and wrote a whole book about it, Don’t Lick the Minivan: And Other Things I Never Thought I’d Say to My Kids. She’s smart. I, instead, sit here lamenting how insane my kids drive me. Why couldn’t I be smart?
Anyway, I’m adding my two cents to the conversation over on Leanne’s blog, and I’ve gotta tell you, this is something you might think (or at least I was thinking for a long time) but you don’t say.
Well, until your kid pushes you into it.
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