Once again I must do a post on funny search terms that have brought people here – perhaps against their will – to hopefully find someone who truly understands them. Because if nothing else I understand. I can’t help, but I understand.
These lonely, wayward souls scour the internet looking for support and compassion because raising kids and cats and husbands isn’t easy. And that quest has brought them here with search terms that bring me so much joy. I hope they do the same for you.
More funny search terms
How do you know your cat is mental? You don’t. I’m sorry poor person who used this search term to find helpful and possibly meaningful results for your suffering cat, but the truth of the matter is there’s no way to know for sure. Yes, I did write a post enumerating the Signs Your Cat is in Need of a Mental Health Professional, but it turned out all cats exhibit those signs. Which isn’t to say those cats aren’t in need of mental help. They are. Just that it’s a terminal condition with no treatment. The best you can do is accept the kitties for who they are (psycho) and wait it out for the next 18 to 20 years.
Signs that your cat is mentally off. There are many, many signs. Namely, they’re a cat. Sorry, I can’t offer more hope.
Raising a difficult preteen. Tell me about it. Sadly, I don’t have any words of wisdom for you, but I do feel your pain if it’s any consolation. And, listen, if you figure it out, give a motha a heads up, ok?
Humorous introduction to parenting. I try. Because, new parent, let me tell you, you’re gonna need a good laugh after the honeymoon phase is over. You are in for some serious shizz (literally and figuratively).
Very best hilarious tweets. Aww, thank you.
How to care for humor crab. I think they meant “hermit” crab because I wrote the definitive post on that. I’m like a hermit crab expert. Turns out that’s an untapped market, and nothing would make me prouder than being the premier source for all your hermit crab needs. But I’d also take being the premier source for all your humor crab needs, too.
Costco organic croutons. You wouldn’t believe how many search results I’ve gotten for this. Ok, three, but that’s a lot when you think about it. I mean, I would think it’d be closer to zero because, really, who the hell would search for that?
If it’s you, here ya go: Why My Husband is Banned from Ever Going to Costco Again.
My husband doesn’t know my secret. Ut-oh.
I was kinda kidding when I wrote my post, 10 Things* My Husband Doesn’t Know About Me.
Well mannered yet funny. Thank you. I pride myself on that.
Reasons why to love kids. I ask myself that all the time.
Hate playing outside with my kids. Inside, outside, what’s the difference? I hate it all.
Frustrated. Someone simply typed in that singular word and landed on my blog. Is it really that obvious? When someone typed that in even Google, an inanimate robotic machine, was like, “Oh, I know where to send you.”
I don’t even know what post that’s from. I guess it could be any of them.
Like this? Find even funnier stuff in I STILL JUST WANT TO PEE ALONE, the third installment in The New York Times best-selling series from some of the funniest women on the web. What I’m trying to say is, I’m in this book. Buy it, ok? Available on Amazon, Kindle, iTunes and Barnes and Noble. I will love you forever.
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