Don’t get me wrong. There’s a lot of hilarious tweets out there. I’ve just fallen down on the job. The thing is it’s hard to put tweets into some sort of loosely arranged theme when I’m culling them from a stream of 200 billion random thoughts. But I try. So here’s what I got.
Let’s start with Sarah who has a great idea for enlivening any dull day at the office, even Drinking Dad’s.
Drinking Dad, Sarah might have just the thing for you. She’s really bringing the excitement back to the workplace. On the days when you find you’ve lost your will to live, try this:
Run with it. Have fun. That’s what life’s all about. I don’t know if it will compensate for all your shattered dreams, but it’s something. I think everyone should give it a shot. I really want to, but I’m a scaredy cat so I can’t. Which means you all have to do it. C’mon, you’re good at it. You have to. Please?
When I was young I could never so much as make a prank phone call without bursting into hysterics the second the prank-e answered the phone. I never in my whole life managed to prank call anyone so I’d never be able to pull off this elevator stunt. I’d have a serious fit of the giggles as soon as the elevator doors banged shut. All I’d manage to do is make everyone in the elevator wonder what the hell was wrong with that hysterical lunatic and flee the elevator the next time the elevator opened it’s doors.
But I do actually have a reason for summoning you all here today. And that is to discuss a very vexing problem.
I know, right? Happens to me every time. I haven’t worn stuff for years, and all of the sudden I find it irresistible when I’m about to give it away. I think, I know it’s a little uncomfortable, but I can still wear it. What if I need it some day? I’m definitely going to wear it. I think.
Why do I do that? It’s super annoying, and I don’t want to get caught in that vicious cycle anymore. But as Emma points out, if I want anything to change…
But that’s so hard. Why can’t other people be the change I want to see?
Alright, fine. I’ll be the change.
Part of that change, I’ve decided, is happily keeping all the mom jeans in my closet and wearing them proudly.
That’s what I’m sayin, Adam. That’s what I’m sayin.
I’m bringing mom jeans back!
And maybe even dad jeans.
If you like this, you’ll love my book, I STILL JUST WANT TO PEE ALONE, the third installment in The New York Times best-selling series from some of the funniest women on the web. For a good time get it on Amazon, Kindle, iTunes and Barnes and Noble. I will love you forever.
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