I repeat this phrase to my kids all the time: Get a job. But now that I have two more freeloaders in the family, I find I need to say it a little more often.
I’m talking about the kitties here, specifically Kitty 1 since she drives me the most insane.
I could use a little help around here, and Kitty 1 seems to have a lot of time on her hands. Why can’t she write a blog post or two?
Maybe I wouldn’t be so hard on her if she didn’t drive me so insane by demanding kitty cuddle time at 3:00 a.m. or by shredding my brand new upholstered antique sofa or by attempting to break into the bathroom every time I’m using it. But she does, and it’s become clear that day at the animal shelter I should have stuck with the original plan and just went with Kitty 2. She’s the sweet kitty, the good kitty, the timid, quiet, obedient kitty.
But I got suckered. I fell for Kitty 1’s little act. When she stuck her cute, little, playful kitty paw out of the cage, it was all over. I had to bust her out of there, too. And ever since, Kitty 1 has worked to destroy my home and my sanity.
I may be exaggerating a bit, but she is not a good listener, and I constantly have to remind her of the house rules. I’m tired of saying, “Bad, Kitty, bad! Pizza is not for kitties,” or “Kitty, get out of the washing machine right now,” or “No, Kitty, you may not sit inside the refrigerator.”
Then the other day I while I was in the kitchen eating my lunch at the counter, I turned around to find, to my utter disbelief, Kitty 1 laying on top of the table. Just laying there, hanging out as if the kitchen table was the most natural place in the world to curl up and take a nap. The worst part was I was STANDING RIGHT THERE. Kitty openly defies me. She’s a deviant, willful, obstreperous little kitty (check your Word to Your Mothas, people – that’s right, I said it), and I know I need a cat trainer. Sadly, I don’t believe any exist. Perhaps I could find a nice juvenile home that reforms wayward kitties. Still, I worried it may be too late.
Then, suddenly, last week Kitty surprised me. She donned business attire and headed out the door to work.
If you think all kitties need to get a job, click on the banner. And, bonus, you can vote once a day everyday. Thanks.
Powered by Facebook Comments