Word to Your Motha: V-Day Edition

I searched high and low for a word to tie into this whole Valentine’s Day nonsense coming up tomorrow. I’m not really fond of  holiday posts because I feel like the market is already saturated with them, and I don’t play that. I can do better. I have to. I owe it to the people.

With the cyber waves inundated with articles and posts and pictures and food and crafts each time a holiday rolls around and with most holidays invented by Halmark to sell crap, my natural inclination is to turn away. I don’t believe in those holidays, and I don’t really believe in any others ones either since the rest are religious holidays made up by men 2,000 years ago (if you really want to know how I feel). Though, I have to say when I worked in a preschool (odd choice for me I know – actually, those days inspired me to start Miss Motha’s Militant Day School, but that idea never took off) I really did love all the silly holidays. It gave the class and teachers something to look forward to, decorate for and create projects around. The holidays provided themes and activities for nearly every month of the year, and the kids got so excited. But working in a preschool or possibly a grammar school are the only two places in the world where that kind of crap actually matters, and where as an adult you actually get to experience and appreciate the holidays. Other than that the holidays pass practically without notice.

With this post I wanted to revive some of the holiday spirit for adults but with an eye toward practicality. A celebration of sorts, this Word to Your Motha post sought to bring you something useful, something pertinent you could utilize on the special day. Maybe you could whisper it into your significant other’s ear. Or maybe it was something you could blurt out while professing your love to your significant other.

But this word I wanted wasn’t easy to come by. I found a lot of other words I can’t wait to define for you in future posts, but for today nothing quite fit. Until I landed on fecundity*.

Ho. Hey. Just remember it’s all fun and games until someone gets fecundated.

Fecundity – n. 1. The quality of being fecund.

Yes, that is the first definition, but since it tells us nothing and I really like the third definition, I’m gonna give you a triple-header today.

Fecund – adj. Producing or capable of producing offspring in abundance; prolific; fruitful.

Fecundate – v. 1. To make prolific or fruitful 2. Impregnate.

Fecundity – n. 3. The capacity of abundant creativity.

Now, I’m not saying you have to use these words tomorrow. In fact, what I’m saying is use these words with extreme caution. These are not words to be bandied about. They are dangerous. They have the power to alter your life in drastic and sometimes cataclysmic ways. So know them, say them when appropriate, but for God Sakes don’t let your significant other fecundate you. And if you do, know the power these words now hold over you.

This is what I’m suggesting.

There, I’ve done my part. I’ve tried to warn you. Now go, and have a happy Valentine’s Day. But not too happy.

It’s the last day to vote and make all my blogging dreams come true, and since I just tried to save your life here, I think you owe me.

  
*There are other “f” words related to the holiday, but I’ll leave that up to you because this ain’t that kind of place.

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photo credit: Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombasticos (ClintJCL) via photopin cc