For today’s post I have prepared for you a lovely little tid bit that’s in keeping with my Detached Parenting theory.
Last week on Twitter I wrote: Bought a box of Mallomars and Oreos on Tuesday. By Thursday they were gone. How do you people manage to feed more than two kids?
To which the like-minded and completely detached Gina Valley replied:
Given the particular circumstances, I suppose I really can’t blame the kids.
While I’d never had a Mallomar before (it was The Kid who talked me into getting them), I quickly learned the Mallomar is a highly addictive substance, one which should only be administered by a professional under the most drastic of conditions (a bad break-up, say, or a death). Perhaps Mallomars should be placed on the list of controlled substances by the DEA. I don’t know. I’m just saying I can understand how my family, myself included, lost all control around the Mallomars. (Interesting side note: Mallomars made it’s debut in Hoboken, NJ in the early 1900’s, and to this day 70% of its customer base is from the New York metro area. Learned that from the box. It’s quite fascinating, but I still can’t figure out how the cookie doesn’t have global reach.)
Mallomars aside, I honestly don’t know how people manage to feed, clothe, and provide college tuition for any more than two kids. Two is the absolute limit for me. Actually one and a half would be perfect. Anything above two is plain crazy, and more than three is just begging to be put into a mental facility. If asked to contemplate more than four my brain shuts down. It’s beyond its processing capabilities.
Raising two seems to take everything I have. I could not possibly keep up with the Oreo demand and burgeoning Mallomar addiction of any more ravenous little family members. And, Gina? She gets me. With remembering to feed and everything else you got to do for these kids, she said:
She’s so right.
Then, to increase the likelihood that all our wandering nomadic children do find their way back, Gina suggested putting out a plate of cookies, but that seemed a little extreme to me. If they turn up on their own, fine. But I’m not going to encourage it.
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