Bad Hair Destroys Child’s Life


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And it didn’t even look anything like this.

The other day I tweeted about hair. It was an important tweet, one that bears repeating. It’s something we are all going to have to face at one point or another during our parenting lives (unless you have boys, in which case consider yourself lucky).

Bangs & Tears

It all started on a recent Saturday morning when I took The Kid to our usual hairdresser at our usual salon for her usual haircut. She was granted full autonomy over the terms and conditions of the cut, and once complete, we left the salon without event.

The Kid never once over the course of the entire weekend displayed any hint of dissatisfaction or stifled, seething rage with the hair style or her hair in general, but come 7:55 Monday morning just as school was about to begin, she spontaneously burst into hysterics. The haircut was the most hideous thing she’d ever seen. It was abhorrent. It was ruining her life!

Which is when I turned to Twitter. Released into the universe, my tweet about a ruinous bad haircut returned a host of wonderful, caring individuals who rallied around to support me in my time of need. Well, one really lovely individual, anyway.

Bad Bangs

That morning I’d been completely caught off guard. There had been no warning bell, no gathering dark clouds on the horizon. What was worse is I am not skilled with hair. I don’t know what to do with it. I don’t even know how to braid. Hairspray was the best I had to offer, and while in the back of my mind I knew it wouldn’t work – it was a mere diversion – I was praying that magical mist could somehow convince The Kid that all was right and just again in the world of hair. It was a long shot, but it was all I had.

I sprayed and brushed, brushed and sprayed, not even really sure what I was trying to fix or how to fix it even if I had known. The kid kept wailing about her bangs, and I could see they were raised a fraction of a millimeter on one side, but I didn’t quite comprehend the problem. What, exactly, was the grave atrocity that had befallen her?

Then I recalled the hairdresser’s parting words to me. That day in the salon she had tried to warn me. She had tried to help. But I’d so cavalierly cast her advice aside. Silently snickering at her concern for the hair styling needs of an 11-year-old, I’d disregarded her instructions. How could I have been so foolish? How could I not have listened?

And, now, approximately two minutes before the start of school, I needed to know. I had to recall her words. What was it I had to do? Wet the bangs? Yes, that was it! Wet them and blow them dry to achieve bang perfection.

But we had no time! No time for wetting and blowing, straightening and extending – pulling each strand to its fullest length so as not to expose an excess of white flesh underneath.

With blow dryer in one hand and hairspray in another, I heard the school bell toll.

Speaking of hairdressers, my friend recently opened a hair salon and she was wondering how she could keep her business energy expenditure low. She decided to do some research through websites such as Usave. She saved a bunch of money thanks to them. If you want to save some money yourself on business bills, learn more on this website. But I digress.

Again, Uncensored Mama, was there for me.

Bangs & Hair

To ONLY wearing dresses to NEVER wearing dresses to ONLY wearing short shorts to NEVER wearing short shorts to ONLY wearing sweat pants to NEVER wearing sweat pants.

That’s when Uncensored Mama said:

Hair - You Win

Yay! I love winning.

photo credit: Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombasticos (ClintJCL) via photopin cc

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25 thoughts on “Bad Hair Destroys Child’s Life”

  1. UGH! I remember feeling like the world was going to end just because my bangs would “poof” the right way… so I’d add a can of hair spray and next thing I knew I’d end up on the bathroom floor, crying.. with a teasing comb firmly stuck into the evil bangs!

  2. Still winning!! Oh I felt like Charlie Sheen and just couldn’t resist. No worries, I had a similar problem this morning, but it wasn’t hair, but her dress. She wore the damn thing yesterday and wanted to wear the same thing again today to school. I had visions of CPS coming to get me that I neglect my kids and let them wear the same thing over and over again. So the screaming went on like this for 45 minutes, before she caved and wore a skirt. God help me, I am so not ready for the teenage years and may need a cabinet of valium to get be through it. Seriously she isn’t even four years old yet!!

  3. I remember bad hair days in high school. They had the potential to ruin the entire week. Two even. These days my hair is lucky to see a brush every couple of days .. unlike my 9yr old daughter who brushes her hair like Rapunzel. I’m guessing I’ll be where you are in a few years time!

  4. I’ve got 3 daughters and with each one the hair drama seemed to start earlier! “I hate my hair!” Is a common phrase around here. The best thing is when you spend 20 minutes doing something to it to make it look nice and they go in the bathroom and come out 5 minutes later with it all undone. Grrrr

  5. Ugh, I remember the bad hair days. I have a weird…wave to my hair. It’s not curly, and it’s not straight, so it looks like crap if I let it dry naturally (and if we’re anywhere humid). The good news is, I know all about straightening hair and after making the mistake of cutting bangs a few years ago (which have finally grown out – so not me), I am a pro, yo.

    So if your child ever needs hair advice, send her my way and I’ll try to help her!

    1. My hair too. I always thought if your hair isn’t curly it must be straight. But my hair isn’t straight either. Maybe that’s why I could never do hair.

      But can you come over & DO her hair for her?

  6. um….I just cut my own bangs, and they’re just a bit short….coz I never remember that hair WILL curl up a bit after being cut!! So, I had my own mini-breakdown in the bathroom before leaving for work, and spent the whole day hunched up in my cubicle, avoiding eye-contact with anyone!

    Just thought you would like to know that!!

  7. Uhm. Yeah. Try having curly hair, in the early 80’s when all the girls had feathered hair. I was a walking hair nightmare – whacked out bangs and all. Only now, do I look back and realize that I had the best hair because being naturally curly meant it was naturally BIG – the higher the hair, the closer to God.

  8. I have completely stick-straight hair. One of my girls got it, the middle one has luscious curls, and the oldest has just the right amount of body to her straight hair to make her LOVE it when she’s a teenager. I hope. Someone wish me luck with these three!

    1. The thing was her hair was completely fine. It wasn’t a bad haircut & she liked it up until the point when she had to leave for school & 1 side of the bangs was a fraction of a millimeter off. But thankfully it wasn’t anything a flat iron couldn’t fix, and she’s been hooked ever since.

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