I know you’re all expecting funny tweets for today, but suck it up. Tweetpeat Tuesday has been temporarily suspended to bring you this important announcement.
Today I here to tell you and all the world that I’m setting a goal for myself. That’s right. It’s the new me. I’m setting goals and taking names. Primarily on Facebook.
For a while now, I’ve been trying to grow my Facebook page, and I’ve seen some moderate success. But 900 followers just isn’t enough. I need more. Much, much more! And I won’t stop until I get them. All. Yes, my personal goal is to get everyone on Facebook to like me. Because I like to set realistic goals. Plus, I need them to have a decent platform for the book I’m working on.
Ok, fine, not everyone has to like me, but how about most people? Some people? Anyone?
I’ll admit Facebook and I got off to a rocky start. When I first started my blog I didn’t even have a page for it, and I didn’t get one for a few months, which was stupid. But give a blogger a break. I was just starting out, and I didn’t fully believe in all this modern technology business. I didn’t think social media had staying power. I mean, seriously, who thought Facebook was gonna last?
To be honest I never really understood Facebook, and despite being a blogger I’m a pretty private person. I know, weird, right? I didn’t even sign up for a personal page on Facebook until a few years before I started my blog, and even then I was never really sure how I felt about it. I’m from the X generation where technology is suspicious and untrustworthy. Remember, we started out with DOS and floppy disks. It wasn’t always this easy.
When I went off to college my parents gave me the choice of getting a computer, which was a modern invention at the time, or a word processor. Guess which one I chose. In my senor year of college I remember spending 8 hours in the computer lab trying to format a stupid resume, redoing it over and over again because I didn’t know how to get the stupid margins adjusted. Computers have a mind of their own, and there’s no talking to them. If you lost something, there was no way to find it or possibly get it back. It was forever lost to the big cyberspace in the sky. The refrain of the day was, “Back up your work! Make sure you’re backing up.” But no one ever told you how to back up or what the hell that meant.
One time I was working on a story for the school paper. I had a staff position there, and I was in the newsroom working on my ground-breaking story on a new Super Man comic book when the power went out. I’d been working on that stupid, back-page story for nearly 6 hours and was almost done when the office went dark. I had to hold back the hot tears burning my eyes when the power came back on, and my story was gone. As I sat there staring at the blank screen in disbelief someone said, “Well, did you back it up?”
It was all I could do to keep from running out of the room screaming, “No. No, I didn’t back it up because no one ever told me what the hell that means!”
Because you know what? You don’t have to back up paper. Ink never just magically disappears from your page. Paper is not trying to lure you into its web of trickery and deceit.
I had to start my story all over from scratch. That is a pain you never forget. So when I finally did come to Facebook rather late in life, it was with a certain hesitance. Could I really trust Facebook?
In my defense I’ll like to mention one other thing. My blog was born in secrecy. I didn’t tell family or friends so that made it a little difficult to promote. I feared even if I created a Facebook page with all of Facebook’s complicated rules and procedures I’d invariably confuse my personal account with my blog account and wind up posting the wrong thing on the wrong page as the wrong person because I’m not very good at being a CIA operative. And, then my whole carefully orchestrated plan would’ve blown up in my face.
But I’m here to tell you, I’ve changed my ways. I’m slowly coming out of the closet as a blogger, and I’ve taken a shine to Facebook. Primarily because of its cat videos. I’ve even renamed or retitled or re-subtitled my Facebook page so my “about” description reads: Home of incisive cultural commentary also known as common sense. And cat videos.
All of this is just a long-winded way of saying I have goals. I just don’t like to clearly articulate them. They’re floating around in my head somewhere. I know they’re there, and I’ll get to them eventually. I just don’t like to put them all down in black and white where I can be held accountable and clearly see yet another thing at which I’ve failed.
But all that’s about to change. Because The IndieChicks are making me. They’re launching their new and improved site soon, and for the launch they’re choosing 5 lucky bloggers (pick me! pick me!) to take part in their new Discover Feed service, which will display a bunch of blog with a link back to their site for FREE y’all.
For that I can come up with some goals. Actually, I already had some. I’m just putting them down now with an actual plan of action, which has mostly grown out of my need to build my platform for my book. So to accomplish my goal to gain more Facebook followers, specifically I wanted to get to a 1,000, and I’m not that far off the mark (but of course once I hit 1,000 I’ll want to get it to 2,000 and so on and so forth, but let’s just stick with 1,000 for now) I plan to A) actively network within the Facebook groups I belong to, joining up on every Facebook share thread I see and “like” my fellow bloggers; B) I’m announcing on Facebook that once I hit 1,000 I’m throwing a party – a virtual party – but a party nonetheless with prizes (woo hoo!); and C) I am submitting to more and varied publications so I can cast a broader net and hopefully extend my reach.
How does that sound? Oh, yeah, and I’m writing this blog post so, you know, if you haven’t “liked” me yet, you can take care of that right here: OFM on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter. And get regularly scheduled fun by entering your email address right over there –> on the upper right (because I don’t know how to do it here). I already told you, computers scare me.