Better Know A Blogger: Jenn from Something Clever 2.0

Next up in the critically acclaimed series, Better Know A Blogger, is Jenn from Something Clever 2.0. For the history and how Stephen Colbert personally told me to do this go here because I can’t explain it all again. As for Jenn, I’m not gonna go into too much detail because you can see for yourself below, but let’s just say she writes for NickMom. She ain’t playin. So let’s get started, shall we?
 Blogger Series:Jenn Something Clever
1. Why did you decide to start your blog, and did you have any idea what you were getting yourself into?
I started blogging because a couple of friends told me I should. They liked my funny Facebook posts, and thought they should be longer. I had no idea I’d end up where I am now.
2. How long have you been at this racket?
I started “Something Clever” five years ago. I was working full-time, and I had a new baby. (Editor’s note: Wait. What?) It didn’t last very long. When I stopped working outside the home, I decided to start blogging again. I looked back at my old posts, and they were really negative, because I hated my job (Editor’s note: And you were taking care of a baby and trying to blog on top of it – maybe. That’s enough to make a person a little cranky). So I rebranded as Something Clever 2.0. That was a little over three years ago.
3. Do you have a blogging schedule? If so, what is it? Does it help? Does it change? Do you want to stomp on it, and tell people to go away – you have enough to do?
I really should have a schedule, but I don’t. I’ve been maxed out on personal commitments lately, so I’m trying to force myself to put up at least one post a week. Once I get my act together, though, I hope to post two or three times a week again.
4. Tell us a little bit about your background: What did you do in your previous life or still do in addition to blogging? I guess what I’m getting at here is what uniquely qualifies you to be a blogger other than a dollar and a dream?
I can tell you that customer service and dental assisting did NOT prepare me for this. But I’ve always loved to write, and my secret dream that I never really chased was to write for magazines. It honestly never occurred to me when I started blogging that I was headed in that direction, but I do some online freelancing now, and someday (soon?), I hope to make it into print. Print’s not dead, I say!

But wait, there’s more –>

When Birthdays Get Scary

I’m not talking about the big 3-oh or the big 4-oh or even the mid century mark. I talking about half birthdays. And I’m talking about it on Scary Mommy.

If it's your half birthday, I say you get half a cake and half a present. You'll get the other half in 6 months.

It’s your half birthday? By all means, enjoy half a cake and half a present. You’ll get the other half in 6 months. Photo credit: cactuspinecone via photopin cc

Basically, I’m calling bullshit on this trend to accommodate the poor, little, precious darlings with the grievous misfortune of being born on an undesirable day. And, bashing the psycho parents for whom less-than-optimum fanfare simply won’t do. Join me, won’t you?

For a good time, find me on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter. And get regularly scheduled fun by subscribing right over there –> to the right and entering your email address. Thanks!

Moving & Storage Units: 2 Nightmares That Go Great Together

I'll just live here. It'll be easier.

I’ll just live here. It’s easier.

Today I’m over on HumorOutcasts.com, your one stop shop for humor. They allowed me to join the board so now I’m an official board member of humor. That’s right. I’ll decide what’s funny or not. Just kidding. I act in no official capacity and have no actual power at all although I kinda wish it did. Because that would be fun. Anyway, I’m over there reprising my piece on storage wars, but if you didn’t read it, it’s new to you. So have at it because if you have moved, are moving, or might move at some point in your life, you’ll appreciate this.

 

For a good time, join me on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter. And get regularly scheduled fun by entering your email address right over there –> to the right because I don’t know how to enter it here.

Better Know A Blogger: Teri From Snarkfest

Teri from Snarkfest
I’m back with the next installment of the new, hit series Better Know a Blogger. The whole thing kicked off last week with Abby Has Issues (check out her myriad issues here) and is my loving tribute to my hero and yours, Stephen Colbert, and his Better Know a District segment only with less politics and more blogging. Today we have the lovely Teri from Snarkfest who is actually quite sweet and who’s claim to fame is that she lives in the very same town as Turtle Man! Yes, The Turtle Man.
1. Why did you decide to start your blog, and did you have any idea what you were getting yourself into?
My friends would tell me how funny I was, and I’ve always enjoyed writing. That doesn’t mean that I consider myself good in any way, shape or form, but I love attention and I love making people laugh. It was either blog or go into stand-up comedy. And I have stage-fright, so blogging was the obvious choice.
2. How long have you been at this racket?
I’ve been blogging since May of 2012 but I still feel like I have NO clue what I’m doing. Seriously.
3. Do you have a blogging schedule? If so, what is it? Does it help? Does it change? Do you want to stomp on it, and tell people to go away – you have enough to do?
I blog when I get an idea. But if something pops into my head, and I’m not able to blog about it right away, I make a note in my phone. And then I go back and look at the note and think: “What the hell was THAT all about??” I have a note in my phone that I thought was going to be, like, a Pulitzer Prize winning piece. It was such a fantastic idea at the time.The note says “Beach30.”
I have no idea what that means. I gotta start writing a little more detail on my notes.

But wait, there’s more –>

Funny Tweets on Food

It wasn't quite that big.

It wasn’t quite that big. Photo credit: Takoyaki_King via photopin cc

 

Two minutes later 

Two minutes later

Two minutes later 

Two minutes later

Ok, so that didn’t happened to me. It just as easily could have because… 

But wait, there’s more –>

Operation Kitty Capture: Part 3

Kitty Capture Part 3

After our first bungled attempt (because Kevin), Kitty raced into our bedroom and hid under the bed. We followed suit, dragging the giant cardboard moving box with us  and shutting all the doors to the bedroom (there’s two of them not counting the closet if you didn’t know). At least we had her cornered.

Before we commenced with round two, I got my thickest sweatshirt from the closet and zipped it up over my t-shirt. It was probably the only sweltering day of the summer (aside from the day we moved of course), but I had to prepare for battle. Blood was still oozing down my arm from the puncture wounds from my first tangle with Kitty. I couldn’t blame her though. She was just scared.

“You’re going to have to get her this time,” I barked at Kevin because I was under duress, overwhelmed by the inherent conflict of the mission. It had to work. But probably wouldn’t.

Given that Kevin is normally not allow near Kitty, this really wasn’t the best plan.

Kevin shimmied over to the far side of the bed while I crouched on the other, peering underneath, trying to sweet talk Kitty in my most loving and desperate voice. Kitty, though, just returned a cold, hard stare. I think I saw hatred in her eyes. Worse was she wasn’t budging. Great. I over at Kevin. “Now what?”

But wait, there’s more –>

Better Know a Blogger

Abby Has Issues

Today, friends, I’m switching it up. I decided to do something in honor of the final season of my idol, lord and savior and soul-mate, Stephen Colbert.  Like you I am despondent over his departure from Comedy Central. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to handle the move when the time comes. Not well is my guess. If you don’t know I’ve had a long-standing crush on Stephen. He is the one person in all the world, if given a free pass by my husband, I’d have a torrid affair with. This is no secret to anyone. I have been clear about my feelings for Stephen from the beginning. Before I married Kevin, I sat him down and gave him the hard truth. Yes, I love Kevin, but I love Stephen more, and Kevin understands this kind of love cannot be controlled. Still, Kevin agreed to the marriage and does not appear to feel threatened.

Inspired by and in tribute to Stephen work and his Better Know a District segment, I’m doing a Better Know a Blogger series. If you’ve never seen it below is a little taste, the 78th installment in his 434 part series (mine won’t be quite as long). This is perhaps my favorite one in which Stephen duals a representative for the right to become a member of the black caucus. And wins.

I don’t claim to know how to fence or be nearly as clever as Stephen, but if I can bring but just a tiny fraction of the levity, insight and wisdom he brought to the world, I would be humbled. I’m kicking off the series with a bang. First up is Abby from Abby Has Issues. Oh, yeah, you thought you knew her issues, but you didn’t know jack. With my hard-hitting questions, you’ll get to see Abby exposed and Better Know a Blogger.

 

OFM: Why did you decide to start your blog, and did you have any idea what you were getting yourself into?

AHI: I started it about four years ago, and my first posts were absolutely horrible. While I’m a writer/editor for employment, I wanted to write for enjoyment. The focus of my blog has shifted about 856 percent since then and it’s mostly humor with the occasional deep thought post about depression, OCD or life. Basically both sides of the coin. And I had no idea what I was getting into and still don’t know how to do most of the fancy crap. Writing is only part of it—the only part of it that I’m good at—and the rest has become images and marketing and, well, kind of like work. I do enough of that in the office, or do a good job of pretending I do. My blog is a place for my hobby (although I care way too much about that hobby and wish it was my job but the Bloggess hasn’t agreed to adopt me yet.)

But wait, there’s more –>

Sexy Tweets*

Hey, ho.

Hey, ho. Get a room. Photo credit: Toni Blay via photopin cc

*If you take sexy to mean humorous. C’mon I gotta do somethin to draw in the readers, and sex sells. Basically I’m putting sex in the title of every post from now on no matter what it’s about. And, this post is about men and women, which together holds the possibility of leading to sex – at some point. So, technically, I didn’t lie, and now that you’re here, you should read it. You’ll get some tips that might help you in the sexy department at least.

Like this.

 

See? Learning something already. Sounds like the perfect date night. Some of us appreciate quality alone time on the couch. 

Many of my fondest memories involve laying on the couch.

Couch, I love you.

Couch, I love you. Photo credit: .nate via photopin cc

But wait, there’s more –>

HumorOutcasts & Me: Perfect Together

I’m humorous. And outcasty so HumorOutcasts & I are a perfect combo. Today I’m over there talkin bout my kitties. Specifically the time I had to pooper scoop their litter box, and, let me tell you, that is not a pleasant job. Which is why I leave it to my husband. But this one time he was going away and taking the kids so I couldn’t even make them do it. It wasn’t fair. But everything in life is a trade off, and if I wanted to be rid of the kids for the weekend I was gonna have to scoop some poop to get it.

I thought I could do it. I thought it would be no big deal, really, but what I uncovered when I lifted up the cover to the litter box just might have been the 8th wonder of the world. Go read my piece, Sh@%ty Kitties, now. You’ll be glad you did. Because who doesn’t enjoy reading about cat poop?

I’ll See You in Court

I'll See You in Court

 

I got called for jury duty today which is why I’m not here typing away. It’s a bit of a pain especially since I just found out my kids have a half day, but I believe in doing my civic duty so I’m going.

I know I’ll be picked because I’m always picked (based on my one other experience on jury duty). But, seriously, I’ll be picked because I’m normal or at least I appear that way in public. I’m good at hiding my crazy. I also want to be a good little citizen, and I’m honest so when they see me coming the judge and litigators start licking their chops. I’m absolutely no good at lying. I can’t do it. I start to sweat and babble and before you know it I’m apologizing profusely while tripping my way to the door before fleeing the room in shame. I think that’s my biggest regret in life – that I can’t lie. Think about how much easier life is went you’re adept at lying. You can get out of anything. You can be a very successful salesperson or ad exec. I can’t do anything or get out of anything, and now I’ll be stuck on jury duty for the rest of my life.

But wait, there’s more –>