Guys, I’ve got exciting news. I’ve opened up shop.
That’s right. You, too, can now own One Funny Motha trinkets, oddities and quality, top-of-the-line t-shirts! I know it’s what the world’s been waiting for… or at least what I’ve been waiting for.
I was inspired by Abby who has issues. She recently opened her Zazzle shop after encouragement by her loyal and adoring fans. I’d been thinking about doing something like that – not that anyone encouraged me or anything. But because I’d like to wear some of the things I say. Also, I saw a really cool flask. I’ve always wanted one of those. You know, for the times you’re at family gatherings and light alcohol just isn’t enough.
After Abby opened hers, I was like, “I want one.” And, since lack of enthusiasm’s never stopped me, now there’s OneFunnyMothaisms for all! Wear them proudly on your person or gaze at them lovingly over breakfast with your family. You can even tuck them discreetly into the inside, hidden zip pocket of your coat so you always have OFM with you, near to your heart.
Perhaps opening a Zazzle shop just so I can buy my own products defeats the whole purpose, but I figured if I wanted them maybe someone else might want them, too. So now it’s One Funny Motha for all and all for One Funny Motha or something like that.
Now you may be the proud owner of these…
Yes, as the product name indicates, this shirt is the best t-shirt in the world. But after I created that one I thought, Why should childless people be penalized?
So I created this.
Who couldn’t use this shirt? This one has best-seller written all over it.
And, for all those special occasions, I have this delightful beauty that’s bound to make all your holidays bright.
Product Description: The best purchase you will ever make (and best friend you’ll ever have). For all those times you’re stuck at pointless PTA meetings, volunteering at the school’s annual fund-raising carnival or celebrating the holidays with the in-laws, this slim, tasteful and streamlined go-anywhere companion will liven things right up and make these tasks bearable. (You see where I get my mad copywriting skills now, don’t you?)
And for the everyday occasion I offer this modern, minimalist mug in elegant black type on white ground with a whimsical splash of red.
Mug statement: “Morning isn’t good time for me. Neither is the afternoon.” Product description: Without ever uttering a word but by simply hoisting a mug, you can let the whole world know how you feel. This mug clearly expresses when would be a good time for you. In this case, never. Never would be a good time. Perfect for home or office.
Of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t express my mission statement on a study, practical houseware item, handy for daily affirmation.
So that’s my shop so far, but there’s many, many more items to come (as soon as I think of them). I’m sure I don’t need to remind you, but Christmas is right around the corner. These t-shirts, mugs and flasks make the perfect holiday gifts for everyone on your list! Except babies… and toddlers… and kids under 21. But screw em. They’ve already taken everything from us.