Better Know A Blogger: Welcome to The Bundle

Today’s special presentation is brought to you by the funny and fabulous Jessica Rapisarda of Welcome to the Bundle. If you don’t know her, what’s wrong with you? Just kidding, you’re fine, but allow me to introduce you.

Better Know Blogger:Welcome Bundle

For that alone, you should like her.

Here’s some more.

Why did you decide to start a blog, and did you have any idea what you were getting yourself into?

In early 2014, my pal Lauren Boston (of laurenbostonblog.com fame) suggested I try out for Listen to Your Mother DC. Because I suffer from intense stage fright, I decided that seemed like a really good idea. Frankly, I did not expect to be cast, but I was. My euphoria lasted a hot second before it gave way to anxiety cramping. Almost everyone in the show actively blogged, and all of the publicity info proudly linked to these blogs. By comparison, my bio read like a how-to-be-sad-and-boring manual: “Jessica is a wife, mom, and technical editor. At one point in her life, she wanted to write poetry, but now she wants to pay off her student loans and get a pedicure from time to time.”

Right, so I started a blog to seem cool. I’m failing miserably, but I’m having fun.

OFM: You are NOT. Don’t talk about yourself that way. I won’t hear of it. Plus, I find blogging isn’t as easy as they make it out to be.

How long have you been at this racket?

My blog is only 9 months old, so there’s less spit-up than in the early days, but there’s still a lot of drool.

OFM: See what she did there? Her blog is her baby.

But wait, there’s more –>

Funny Tweets on Kids #567

As much as we all have kids, who’s idea was that? One day was someone like, “Oh, I know! I have a great idea…

Get away from me you filthy, disease-carrying parasites!

Do you know how filthy that ball pit is? It’s one big petri dish, people. Photo credit: ~suchitra~ via photopin cc

Why do kids have to jump in ball pits? And touch you? Repeatedly? Why can’t they just stay way over there where they belong?

 

I also don’t know why kids have to cry all the time. It’s annoying. 

Seriously. What’s their problem?

Next time just leave them with the sitter.

Where was she when my kids were young? It was impossible to find a good sitter.  

Why do kids suck so much? Why?

But wait, there’s more –>

When a Renovation Might Kill You

Could be us!

Could be us!

I interrupt today’s regularly scheduled program to bring you this special report. Today I’m pleased and honored to be the house guest on the Housewife Plus column on the Bangor Daily News. I reprised my renovation vs. moving piece which was in two parts, combining it into one bite-sized morsel for her audience’s easy consumption. It would’ve been rude to tell them to stay tuned for part 2 because I don’t know if I’ll ever be invited back, and I didn’t want to leave anyone hanging. So if you didn’t read it, it’s new to you, and you should head on over there. And, bonus, this time you get two posts for the price of one.

For a good time, find me on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter. And get regularly scheduled fun by entering your email address right over there –> to the right (because I don’t know how to do it here). I’m a writer not a coder!

 

Breaking Bad Action Figures For The Kid in All of Us

Breaking Bad Action Figures

I don’t want to break bad all over your Breaking Bad action figures, but who came up with the idea of meth lab action figures?

By now I’m sure you’ve all heard the story of the Florida woman who launched a Change.org petition challenging the sale of Breaking Bad dolls at Toy R Us. By Thursday morning, she had succeeded in convincing the toy store chain to pull what was bound to be the hot Christmas item of the year off the shelves.

From what I gathered on Facebook, my primary news source, people seemed to think the woman’s actions were a little extreme. I’m not going to say I’d be working up a petition (I just don’t care enough), but I can’t say I disagree with the woman entirely either.

Listen, I love Breaking Bad as much as the next Net Flix streamer, but selling drug-dealing dolls complete with mini meth strikes me as a little odd. What really got me, I think, were the accessories. I can almost see a toy company manufacturing Walter White and Jesse Pinkman dolls because, really, who doesn’t want those lovable characters? I’d even stock up on them now before the Black Friday stampede on the toys. But, I don’t know, something about a toy store selling a bag of mini crystal meth and a wad of cash – even though they are completely adorable – seems to be in bad taste.

But wait, there’s more –>

Better Know a Blogger: Nurse Mommy Laughs

You know her as Nurse Mommy, but did you know Stacey Hatton also has a humor column in The Kansas City Star newspaper, is co-author of “I Just Want to Pee Alone” and the sequel, and plays a blogger on TV on the NBC morning show, KC Live! Impressive, I know. She’s also the only person I’ve ever heard use the term “all the livelong day,” in all seriousness, which is equally as impressive.

A former pediatric nurse, present-ish mom and future menopausal pole dancer, Nurse Mommy always investigates the “funny bone.” Now I’m turning the investigation on her.

Better Know Blogger-Nurse Mommy

Why did you decide to start your blog, and did you have any idea what you were getting yourself into?

At first I was afraid. I was petrified. No wait that’s something else. I was bored. Oh, and sleep deprived and lactating.

How long have you been at this racket?

I’m embarrassed to say. There are so many bloggers who have been at blogging for a minute and BOOM they are on Dr. Oz talking about their swollen spleens and psoriasis from all the fame and glamour – me…not so much. It’s been freaking 5 years and I still hear crickets in my comment section. I’m really not bitter. Really.


Do you have a blogging schedule? If so, what is it? Does it help? Does it change? Do you want to stomp on it, and tell people to go away – you have enough to do?

My blogging schedule is to bathe, feed and water the children, give my hubby some boom-boom, and then the rest of the time is on my keyboard. I usually get 2 posts up a week. I find that my readers like Tuesdays and Thursdays, even though I blogged Monday, Wednesday and Fridays for three years. What can I say? I’m blonde. It’s a disability.

But wait, there’s more –>

Techno Tweets

Techo Tweets
photo credit: Grant Mitchell via photopin cc

Techno Tweets – it’s like techno beat. But not.

While on vacation I got some reading in.  

Related:

Not even social media’s free from the pressure.

Whatever happens you do not want a phone call home from your mom. Just remember that.

Also, remember this:

Good call because if your battery dies you’re gonna be screwed. You might have to talk to people. But wait, there’s more –>

Better Know A Blogger: Jenn from Something Clever 2.0

Next up in the critically acclaimed series, Better Know A Blogger, is Jenn from Something Clever 2.0. For the history and how Stephen Colbert personally told me to do this go here because I can’t explain it all again. As for Jenn, I’m not gonna go into too much detail because you can see for yourself below, but let’s just say she writes for NickMom. She ain’t playin. So let’s get started, shall we?
 Blogger Series:Jenn Something Clever
1. Why did you decide to start your blog, and did you have any idea what you were getting yourself into?
I started blogging because a couple of friends told me I should. They liked my funny Facebook posts, and thought they should be longer. I had no idea I’d end up where I am now.
2. How long have you been at this racket?
I started “Something Clever” five years ago. I was working full-time, and I had a new baby. (Editor’s note: Wait. What?) It didn’t last very long. When I stopped working outside the home, I decided to start blogging again. I looked back at my old posts, and they were really negative, because I hated my job (Editor’s note: And you were taking care of a baby and trying to blog on top of it – maybe. That’s enough to make a person a little cranky). So I rebranded as Something Clever 2.0. That was a little over three years ago.
3. Do you have a blogging schedule? If so, what is it? Does it help? Does it change? Do you want to stomp on it, and tell people to go away – you have enough to do?
I really should have a schedule, but I don’t. I’ve been maxed out on personal commitments lately, so I’m trying to force myself to put up at least one post a week. Once I get my act together, though, I hope to post two or three times a week again.
4. Tell us a little bit about your background: What did you do in your previous life or still do in addition to blogging? I guess what I’m getting at here is what uniquely qualifies you to be a blogger other than a dollar and a dream?
I can tell you that customer service and dental assisting did NOT prepare me for this. But I’ve always loved to write, and my secret dream that I never really chased was to write for magazines. It honestly never occurred to me when I started blogging that I was headed in that direction, but I do some online freelancing now, and someday (soon?), I hope to make it into print. Print’s not dead, I say!

But wait, there’s more –>

When Birthdays Get Scary

I’m not talking about the big 3-oh or the big 4-oh or even the mid century mark. I talking about half birthdays. And I’m talking about it on Scary Mommy.

If it's your half birthday, I say you get half a cake and half a present. You'll get the other half in 6 months.

It’s your half birthday? By all means, enjoy half a cake and half a present. You’ll get the other half in 6 months. Photo credit: cactuspinecone via photopin cc

Basically, I’m calling bullshit on this trend to accommodate the poor, little, precious darlings with the grievous misfortune of being born on an undesirable day. And, bashing the psycho parents for whom less-than-optimum fanfare simply won’t do. Join me, won’t you?

For a good time, find me on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter. And get regularly scheduled fun by subscribing right over there –> to the right and entering your email address. Thanks!

Moving & Storage Units: 2 Nightmares That Go Great Together

I'll just live here. It'll be easier.

I’ll just live here. It’s easier.

Today I’m over on HumorOutcasts.com, your one stop shop for humor. They allowed me to join the board so now I’m an official board member of humor. That’s right. I’ll decide what’s funny or not. Just kidding. I act in no official capacity and have no actual power at all although I kinda wish it did. Because that would be fun. Anyway, I’m over there reprising my piece on storage wars, but if you didn’t read it, it’s new to you. So have at it because if you have moved, are moving, or might move at some point in your life, you’ll appreciate this.

 

For a good time, join me on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter. And get regularly scheduled fun by entering your email address right over there –> to the right because I don’t know how to enter it here.

Better Know A Blogger: Teri From Snarkfest

Teri from Snarkfest
I’m back with the next installment of the new, hit series Better Know a Blogger. The whole thing kicked off last week with Abby Has Issues (check out her myriad issues here) and is my loving tribute to my hero and yours, Stephen Colbert, and his Better Know a District segment only with less politics and more blogging. Today we have the lovely Teri from Snarkfest who is actually quite sweet and who’s claim to fame is that she lives in the very same town as Turtle Man! Yes, The Turtle Man.
1. Why did you decide to start your blog, and did you have any idea what you were getting yourself into?
My friends would tell me how funny I was, and I’ve always enjoyed writing. That doesn’t mean that I consider myself good in any way, shape or form, but I love attention and I love making people laugh. It was either blog or go into stand-up comedy. And I have stage-fright, so blogging was the obvious choice.
2. How long have you been at this racket?
I’ve been blogging since May of 2012 but I still feel like I have NO clue what I’m doing. Seriously.
3. Do you have a blogging schedule? If so, what is it? Does it help? Does it change? Do you want to stomp on it, and tell people to go away – you have enough to do?
I blog when I get an idea. But if something pops into my head, and I’m not able to blog about it right away, I make a note in my phone. And then I go back and look at the note and think: “What the hell was THAT all about??” I have a note in my phone that I thought was going to be, like, a Pulitzer Prize winning piece. It was such a fantastic idea at the time.The note says “Beach30.”
I have no idea what that means. I gotta start writing a little more detail on my notes.

But wait, there’s more –>